carersorry

@donjoyride Anything else?

When I was in LA last year I met a "veteranarian to the stars". Here's what I learnt:

me in an uber: “yeah exactly haha” “That’s life I guess” “Yeah… what can you do” “Oh yeah wow” “haha yeah” “yeah”

you burned out mate? you got a case of the burny o's mate? are you gonna have a menty b mate? gonna have a menty b due to the locky d from the panny d mate?

@bkjabour Here being earth?

i think people on here are losing the ability to read and comprehend

@donjoyride Such varied feedback from your followers to this tweet

I personally think there will actually be, in fact, "caps everywhere"

i’m so sick of it. i’m sick of pretending i don’t wanna clone myself and then make love to my hot sexy body.

@donjoyride Lol so many of these people are being so stern

How the fuck am I getting a $205 fine for going 47 in a school zone last Tuesday morning? Is there a timid ghost at Sydney Boys that I'm not aware of? Definitely no alive students going in, right?

Reading my "what's your baby doing this week" app is very enjoyable. Week 24 advice for womyn - pop your moisturiser in the fridge so it has a cooling effect on your stretch marks. Advice for men - don't worry about hurting the baby when you have sex with your horny wife.

@JONESJnr_ I only just found out you two aren't brothers. Hope you're keeping well though!

Sending our love and light to you all, keep being kind to you and those around.

Anyone else watching Bridgerton stuck on the whereabouts of the family diamond necklace Daphne took off at the party even though the plot has definitely moved ahead?

Can i PLEASE want to do anything else other than watch Sex and the City and eat chocolate??????

bill nye is short for william new year’s eve

Why would whoever made English decide "raise" and "raze" were the right words for each?

Which Lenny do you identify with most?

Good on all of the citizens of NSW coming forward to get their beers tested yesterday. Unusual method of contact tracing, I’ll admit, but you can’t be too safe in this day and age

As a natural redhead, I feel a civic responsibility to be hot so I can show little rangas that even though it’s tough right now, someday they too can grow up to be fuckable

@joe_hardy You, sir, just made my whole weekend. Thanks❤️