Satirical Monkey

@AVFC_Connor_ Should have let the goal stand for Raya being such a fanny and falling like he’s been shot

So it’s a tiny foul on raya but Rice is able to play rugby with the defenders This league is bias to big 6 and is finished. #WHUARS

I’m sure we have all now seen the footage of Metropolitan rozzers kicking a suspected terrorist in the head, repeatedly, when he was down. We can all play a part in putting an end to this sort of police brutality. Mainly by not going around stabbing people.

Watching an episode of Top Gear from 2009, @JeremyClarkson and @MrJamesMay discussing how amazing racing cars would be branded with British brands such as After Eight and Bisto gravy. Well, skip forward to 2026 and the POWER of AI and guess what? They might have been right… 🧵

90+4: Ugarte is shown his 5th yellow card #ENGURU

@DrSlicer I’m all for Findus crispy pancakes, not so much avocado suites and the fear of spontaneous combustion

You lot criticising the 1970s just don't know what you missed. In the 60s & 70s we had the best of everything. You youngsters just don't know what you missed. I'm so old I can never use the quiz excuse "It was before my time!" #aplaceinthesun

“Doesn’t need much work”, aye, if you want to live in 1976 #aplaceinthesun

What TV theme do you associate with it being time for bed when you were a kid?

@NickPullen5 @bushontheradio Beat me to it 😂

@bushontheradio I had an Uncle Andrew who's birthday is today, but he appears to have gone missing.

Have you got a fake aunty or uncle? Someone you call aunty or uncle but they actually aren't?

“GB women chase curling semi” #WinterOlympicGames #BBCNews

@BBCNews ‘Two buses one theatre’

Double decker hits London theatre in two-bus crash bbc.in/40f0lDo

@fesshole It’s like somebody shredded a dictionary and tried to put it back together again

I used to repair overhead power lines. As I was getting down off the tower, a browny-orange dog ran over closely chased by its owner. They were shouting "don't touch it, it's human." That's when I realised it was a white dog and what my mate Eddie had been doing in the bushes.

@1PercentClubITV Bread and Butter are only pair of items that start with the same letter - tell me I’m wrong…

Alphabet drama #The1PercentClub

“It’s open shirt filth is what it is” #aplaceinthesun

Chasers: “The left side…” Me: “…yeah that the crip side” #BeattheChasers #anyoneelse