The Wizeass™

Hahah

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@fobita @Dudusududus @beewol @iKamalSilva @mugashagilbert @tragicanon Until next time. 😂😂

Congrats @Dudusududus .... the only 76ers I know. Thanks for restoring world peace. My guys @beewol @iKamalSilva @BrianWathum @saulowize @mugashagilbert @tragicanon please accept my pinching during this trying time you're going through 🫣. It is not easy to cope with moments like this after thinking those boys from the City of brotherly love were going to be a walkover. Take the lessons and come back more humble next season. Have a safe trip to Cancun....our noisy neighbours @ChrisOmanye @ShemaAbe1 @AmariSongbird @aine_kevin @Elgio_70 are already there. Kindly keep for us the beach front rooms....we are coming next week 😅 @piusmwilson @bruno_akampa @pajobedgar1 @ToniKamau10

@UG_confesses Since you’re here you must know the answer too.

Hi everyone, this is my first time on twitter. Twitter has been around for a long time. I have so many questions. I've heard that everyone on Twitter is very smart and talented. I've also heard that you're geeks that have no women or men. Why are you like that?

@UG_confesses Please represent. Go ahead.

People say someone cant be stolen, they go willfully. Not entirely true. I am a married man and i love my wife so much but there's this landlady of a building where i put a small restaurant business and this chick is teasing me to death. She has made hundreds of passes at me and i have always told her NO. Today our rent was due and I had to see her to pay and tell her about some stuff that needs fixing and we were alone and as we were talking normally she screams, says an insect has entered her blouse, she says can you see it, i say i cant, then she takes her top off. No bra. Large, perky milkshakes. And laughs and tells me, "I bet your wife doesn't have these. Touch them". I refused. And she pointed out my dick was visibly erect, and laughed. Put her top back on. Guys i am trying. I am really fighting for my marriage. But i have used up all my self control. I don't have much left. She is going to win 😭

Want to transcribe Luganda speech with AI? This fine-tuned Whisper model does exactly that. It's a small, efficient model trained on 400 hours of Luganda audio. Perfect for developers and researchers working on African language tech.

morning to all farm animals except cow

So... The President proposes his beautiful Bill. Somehow, this “beautiful Bill” is hijacked by a Cabinet that sits every Monday at his official residence. And these Cabinet meetings are chaired by the President, or his delegate. Anyway… Clauses Not one, not two, not three, not four, not five... are inserted. The Attorney General, a member of Cabinet, directly appointed by the President, and the government’s designated legal adviser, somehow sees all this. And advises that the Bill be sent to the Ministry of Finance, for which the President is the official minister, to obtain the mandatory Certificate of Financial Implications. The Ministry of Finance duly issues the Certificate of Financial Implications. And the Bill, now laden with all the smuggled-in clauses, is tabled by the Minister of State for Internal Affairs -another direct appointee and member of Cabinet. It is tabled in a Parliament whose Speaker swears to follow and fall in the name of the President, His Son, and the Daughters. Your Cabinet is present. Your Attorney General is present. For the next two weeks, your Attorney General vehemently defends the Bill on the floor and across your government’s media. Your latest big blue fish recruit, a law professor, almost without prompting, steps in to defend the Bill nonetheless. Your toad-eaters, who, also swear by the Father, if not the Son, besmirch anyone opposed to the Bill, branding them vent merchants and foreign agents. Conductor? Maaso awo ku Mulago stage

@observerug Observer 👌🏽

@UG_confesses 🤣🤣🤣

Its 3 in the night and I've laughed so hard at this I've probably woken up the whole neighborhood 😂

@UG_confesses First talk to your neighbor about it… bwagaana😜

Neighbor's dog barks LITERALLY all day nonstop every fucking day and it's driving me insane. And we stay on an apartment block so you can hear it to the max. What can I do about this?

muzukuke tutye abakazi😭😭😭😭

Bugatti just lost its all-time speed record. To the Chinese EV in this video. 308 mph at Papenburg, on a battery. The Chiron Super Sport had held the record for six years. 1,600 hp, 8.0L W16, four turbochargers. Bugatti needed every horse of that to hit 304 mph. BYD's Yangwang U9 Xtreme did 308 with four electric motors and a battery pack. Marc Basseng, the driver, won the Nürburgring 24 Hours. He said the run was "technically not possible with a combustion engine." He's right. A combustion engine produces a power curve that peaks at a specific RPM and falls off either side. Past 9,000 RPM the valves float, the connecting rods stretch, the pistons can't reverse direction fast enough. The W16 is the absolute thermodynamic ceiling of 100 years of internal combustion. Every mph past 290 cost exponentially more engineering for diminishing returns. The U9 Xtreme uses four electric motors. Each produces 744 hp. Each spins to 30,000 RPM. No valves. No pistons. No connecting rods. Total system output is 2,978 hp, almost double Bugatti's W16. Power-to-weight is 1,217 hp per tonne. The motors were never the hard part. Mate Rimac said this years ago. The constraint was always the battery, because to deliver 2,978 hp into four wheels you have to discharge faster than any production EV ever has. BYD built the world's first 1,200-volt production car. Everyone else uses 800V. The Blade Battery runs lithium iron phosphate cells with a 30C discharge rate, ten times what a conventional EV battery handles. Heat generation falls 67% versus 800V at matching output. That last number is the whole game. Heat is what kills high-power EV runs. Other automakers derate within seconds at full power because the battery cooks itself. BYD's architecture lets the Xtreme hold maximum discharge long enough to actually approach the aerodynamic limit of the chassis. Bugatti spent 20 years engineering the W16 to its physical ceiling. BYD spent 18 months building the architecture that cleared it. They're making 30 of them. The crown for fastest production car on Earth has belonged to Bugatti, Koenigsegg, Hennessey, SSC. All combustion, all European or American. The crown is Chinese now, and it runs on a battery.

@UG_confesses Only bazungu take it literally. Either spouse helps where they can.

Good evening Admin. There's something that has been eating up my mind that I'd like members-only your platform to discuss. Where did the 50-50 split come from? If the man is the head of the home, shouldn't he provide? I'm not saying that women don't do anything, but why does the provision have to be split to 50-50? I'm curious I want to hear people's opinions. Maybe they may differ from mine.

If you’re an IT admin and you’ve never had your internal environment pentested and can’t afford one right now, do this instead: 1. Run Locksmith - fix anything that’s a High risk 2. Run ADeleginator - make sure everyone, authenticated users, domain users and domain computers doesn’t have any unsafe permissions 3. Run ScriptSentry - check for credentials in logon scripts 4. Run PingCastle - check the control paths section. It’s like bloodhound. Look for non-admins that have control paths If you do this, your environment will be much better when you’re done fixing everything.

@UG_confesses Ono mumanyi wa yellow.

The way the Bobi Wine sycophants are still tying the man on us. Hate to tell them that he has been irrelevant for a while now. In Uganda, either your debut into politics works the first time round, or your flame starts extinguishing. Even if they held elections again tomorrow, he would most certainly get even lesser votes than just a few months ago. And i say that as a non-partisan. The Opposition better debut a new candidate, new ideas, now and prop them up for the next election. Reinvigorate the base. Because where I'm standing, Bobi is history.

@UG_confesses You can look up some online templates for comparison or just ask AI to go through yours and format it.

Admin… I don’t know how to write a CV?😭 is there any HR from your followers to guide me? What is the difference between a CV and a resume? I googled but still confused 😭 do we include the secondary education oba not necessary 😓 it’s even embarrassing that I’m asking all this with a master’s degree

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@UG_confesses Atleast now you know.

She was tipsy and forgot where she had put her phone. So i called it so that we can locate it. I went to the car to check. It had slipped down. Found it ringing and she had saved me as "Lover 3". I don't even know why that but I'm devastated guys

Sierra Leonean Woman Tells Court She Overstayed Visa After Falling in Love with Kenyan Man A Sierra Leonean woman found herself in court in Eldoret after overstaying her visa in Kenya, confessing that she had simply “forgotten” to renew it because she fell in love with a Kenyan man.The woman was arraigned before a magistrate’s court in Eldoret, Uasin Gishu County, and charged with being in the country illegally without a valid immigration permit, in violation of the Kenya Citizenship and Immigration Act. She pleaded guilty to the offence.In mitigation, she told the court that she had initially entered Kenya on a short visit but ended up falling in love, which caused her to lose track of time and fail to renew her visa.The moment turned light-hearted when she pointed out her boyfriend seated in the court gallery. The man stood up and openly confirmed their relationship, telling the magistrate: “Your honour, I can confirm she is my girlfriend.”The court was visibly amused by the candid romantic admission during the proceedings.

@UG_confesses Admin 😂😂

Naye nze ndabye!