Schmrypto ☎️

Schmrypto Does Web3: Episode Round-Up Thread! Co-Hosted by @WhitehornPowell

@AP0CALYPSE It’s such a good encapsulation of the risks, and no one but Vonnegut could have done it like that. Weird mix of blunt and subtle.

@AP0CALYPSE I’m so glad to hear it! Hoped it might be someone’s first time to read it here!

Harrison Bergeron is Vonnegut’s masterpiece, and one of the most under-appreciated works in English literature. It’s a five-minute read, and the full text is in the thread. (1/5)

@AP0CALYPSE I think it’s pound-for-pound my favorite story.

@schmrypto Man.... I could tell that one was a doozy. GREAT STORY

It became their obvious intention to kiss the ceiling. They kissed it. And then, neutraling gravity with love and pure will, they remained suspended in air inches below the ceiling, and they kissed each other for a long, long time. It was then that Diana Moon Clampers, the Handicapper General, came into the studio with a double-barreled ten-gauge shotgun. She fired twice, and the Emperor and the Empress were dead before they hit the floor. Diana Moon Clampers loaded the gun again. She aimed it at the musicians and told them they had ten seconds to get their handicaps back on. It was then that the Bergerons' television tube burned out. Hazel turned to comment about the blackout to George. But George had gone out into the kitchen for a can of beer. George came back in with the beer, paused while a handicap signal shook him up. And then he sat down again. "You been crying" he said to Hazel. "Yup, " she said. "What about?" he said. "I forget," she said. "Something real sad on television." "What was it?" he said. "It's all kind of mixed up in my mind," said Hazel. "Forget sad things," said George. "I always do," said Hazel. "That's my girl," said George. He winced. There was the sound of a rivetting gun in his head. "Gee - I could tell that one was a doozy, " said Hazel. "You can say that again," said George. "Gee-" said Hazel, "I could tell that one was a doozy." Kurt Vonnegut, 1961 (5/5)

Scrap metal was hung all over him. Ordinarily, there was a certain symmetry, a military neatness to the handicaps issued to strong people, but Harrison looked like a walking junkyard. In the race of life, Harrison carried three hundred pounds. And to offset his good looks, the H-G men required that he wear at all times a red rubber ball for a nose, keep his eyebrows shaved off, and cover his even white teeth with black caps at snaggle-tooth random. "If you see this boy, " said the ballerina, "do not - I repeat, do not - try to reason with him." There was the shriek of a door being torn from its hinges. Screams and barking cries of consternation came from the television set. The photograph of Harrison Bergeron on the screen jumped again and again, as though dancing to the tune of an earthquake. George Bergeron correctly identified the earthquake, and well he might have - for many was the time his own home had danced to the same crashing tune. "My God-" said George, "that must be Harrison!" The realization was blasted from his mind instantly by the sound of an automobile collision in his head. When George could open his eyes again, the photograph of Harrison was gone. A living, breathing Harrison filled the screen. Clanking, clownish, and huge, Harrison stood - in the center of the studio. The knob of the uprooted studio door was still in his hand. Ballerinas, technicians, musicians, and announcers cowered on their knees before him, expecting to die. "I am the Emperor!" cried Harrison. "Do you hear? I am the Emperor! Everybody must do what I say at once!" He stamped his foot and the studio shook. "Even as I stand here" he bellowed, "crippled, hobbled, sickened - I am a greater ruler than any man who ever lived! Now watch me become what I can become ! " Harrison tore the straps of his handicap harness like wet tissue paper, tore straps guaranteed to support five thousand pounds. Harrison's scrap-iron handicaps crashed to the floor. Harrison thrust his thumbs under the bar of the padlock that secured his head harness. The bar snapped like celery. Harrison smashed his headphones and spectacles against the wall. He flung away his rubber-ball nose, revealed a man that would have awed Thor, the god of thunder. "I shall now select my Empress!" he said, looking down on the cowering people. "Let the first woman who dares rise to her feet claim her mate and her throne!" A moment passed, and then a ballerina arose, swaying like a willow. Harrison plucked the mental handicap from her ear, snapped off her physical handicaps with marvelous delicacy. Last of all he removed her mask. She was blindingly beautiful. "Now-" said Harrison, taking her hand, "shall we show the people the meaning of the word dance? Music!" he commanded. The musicians scrambled back into their chairs, and Harrison stripped them of their handicaps, too. "Play your best," he told them, "and I'll make you barons and dukes and earls." The music began. It was normal at first-cheap, silly, false. But Harrison snatched two musicians from their chairs, waved them like batons as he sang the music as he wanted it played. He slammed them back into their chairs. The music began again and was much improved. Harrison and his Empress merely listened to the music for a while-listened gravely, as though synchronizing their heartbeats with it. They shifted their weights to their toes. Harrison placed his big hands on the girls tiny waist, letting her sense the weightlessness that would soon be hers. And then, in an explosion of joy and grace, into the air they sprang! Not only were the laws of the land abandoned, but the law of gravity and the laws of motion as well. They reeled, whirled, swiveled, flounced, capered, gamboled, and spun. They leaped like deer on the moon. The studio ceiling was thirty feet high, but each leap brought the dancers nearer to it. (4/5)

@schmrypto-d7299392/id/4032950512" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">manifold.xyz/@schmrypto-d72…

I’m tired of this slow market so I’m going to go ask Viracocha to favor us again in exchange for a little gold. NFA, but when I performed a similar sacrifice last year, ETH immediately when from $2200 to $4500 and sentiment went through the roof. If you’d like to contribute gold to the sacrifice, simply mint an Expeditionary Certificate and burn by July 18th, 2026, and I will throw .01 ETH of gold into the Pacific Ocean on your behalf. Our top sacrificer last year was @mendezmendez and he had a pretty great year, just saying…

@schmrypto they'll show me my friends posts unless they painted gore or nudity

@schmrypto Oopsie

Users: I feel like I’m not seeing my friends’ posts anymore. X: No, the algorithm just knows how much you love murder videos and politics. *Three years later* X: You guys are never gonna believe this, but we weren’t showing you your friends’ posts!

If I ran a sports club our uniforms would be very unique.

Got my Schmicons by @schmrypto (ty) Feels good man

@cartyisme Yeah, I’ve come to realize why that is standard practice!

@schmrypto half up front, always... learned this the hard way, just took a decade of selling trad art

A wild John Schmandy appears in my collection! Happy to add Schmicons #52, thanks to @schmrypto We found a true Canadian legend worthy of inclusion. Gone too soon, John Candy was a beloved comedian and actor who gave us countless memorable performances across some truly iconic films. 🇨🇦🫎🍬

@schmrypto-d7299392/id/4032950512" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">manifold.xyz/@schmrypto-d72…

The certificate to support the Second Expedition to Appease Viracocha is live now! Mint is a .01 ETH OE, no per wallet limit, open until 4:20 PM (Peru Standard Time) on July 17th. Any certificates burned before July 18th will add to the total amount of gold I throw into the Pacific Ocean. The certificate itself is hand-drawn onto Shrinky Dink and coated in epoxy resin and will be awarded at random to one minter, weighted by total number minted. This is not a burn redeem! You will receive nothing but the blessings of Viracocha, as embodied by the Quechuan concept of Sami. Link below!

gm with "Schmeanu Reeves" by the one and only @schmrypto, just landed in my collection! 🖤💚🙏

@Inspector_9 Yeah, I can’t imagine they’re all that familiar with their own algo if this slipped through.

@schmrypto Imagine how much other data is “missing” that could improve this site