Danimal

@lawyer_memes 400 pages exactly? That's oddly and conveniently specific.

The concept of taking a lunch break is absolutely fascinating to me. Yesterday, a second-year told his paralegal he was "stepping out for a sandwich." Stepping out. Like we are in a 1950s sitcom and not pushing an IPO through the SEC. I waited until he was in the elevator and then sent him a 400-page prospectus to proofread. I requested a redline by 1:30 PM. He came back to his desk holding a sad paper bag from the deli. I watched him eat his turkey club with one hand while scrolling through the PDF with the other. Mayonnaise dripped onto his keyboard. Food is just fuel, and fuel should be consumed without joy. He won't be stepping out again.

@JayOnLeafs just wrote a story on Hockeybuzz indicating that Kevyn Adams is the GM of the Buffalo Sabres. He was fired months ago.

@mark_pronobis @SalSports That's a joke for Cleveland, not Buffalo.

@SalSports It’s not a mall issue , it’s a people issue . Bones and thugs don’t equal harmony

While so many malls in America are shutting doors, the Walden Galleria is still rocking on a Saturday afternoon! #packed

@TyGuy9 @ryanwhitney6 A few too many hits to the head, it think.

@ryanwhitney6 It’s a good goal because the glove isn’t even close to being within the blue paint. Really not a hard concept to understand here, Whit lol

Goalie interference is now completely insane to me. If I ever saw a goal coming back I thought it was that one for Buffalo against Florida. Stick hits goalies glove as save is about to be made and it stays a goal. Confusing. And I’m rooting for the Sabres

@ryanwhitney6 The rules are clear if you read them. Goalie's glove was beyond the crease. That ice belongs to the skater. Didn't you play hockey once?

@shawngorham How very presidential of you.

I am a hypocrite I told myself I was done flipping Then a broker called me with an off market deal and I made an offer. Dont believe anything I say, I am not trustworthy

@TheSaurus831 Understatement.

That’s weird, I was told by the biggest pussies I’ve ever met that he was gonna implement sharia law

@the_maga24579 @Doubtfu1 @BrilynHollyhand It's funny that this robot just called you "snowflake". You guys are supposed to be on the same team. The jokes write themselves with you extremists.

@Doubtfu1 @BrilynHollyhand

I don't know about you, but my American dream is to live as far away from liberals as humanly possible.

@Doubtfu1 @BrilynHollyhand Why are you running away from what you voted for? Are you a coward or is it "bone spurs" for you, too?

@BrilynHollyhand I'm about to take up homesteading with Starlink. Society has become too toxic for many things we once held dear. Just going out to dinner can get you in trouble now days.

@GaryPetersonUSA Glazing a convicted felon who diddles underage girls is not a good look for anyone, Gary.

Not since James Bond have we had an American who wakes up every morning to fight our enemies with swagger, the holy scripture, and sex appeal, which is why we honor President Trump on this #PresidentsDay.

@iElijahManley @FBI This is tremendous. Kash's eyes are going to pop out of his sockets as he tries to wrap his head around this.

.@FBI, she’s threatening the president of the United States. That’s a felony.

@dalepbohl @AVGirl4Life Small pp energy, Dale.

@AVGirl4Life Absolutely JD

Be Honest Will you support him?

@sweatystartup @Fllw_the_light Everyone reading this.

@Fllw_the_light It’s a blockchain AI product that is going to disrupt entire real estate industry. $4 trillion market. I get 1% of that I could buy your entire town. Who’s laughing now?

You guys are spending your Sunday nights watching grown men fight over a ball. I’m making cold calls and working on my business plans. It is SOOO easy to win in this life just by working hard.. Zig when everyone else zags.

@sweatystartup Nobody wants your cold calls on Sunday night. Stop pretending you're better than everyone else.

@jakepaul No.

Purposefully turning off the halftime show Let’s rally together and show big corporations they can’t just do whatever they want without consequences (which equals viewership for them) You are their benefit. Realize you have power. Turn off this halftime. A fake American citizen performing who publicly hates America. I cannot support that.

@GodlyNations Racist husbands?

What do Republican women have that Democrat women don’t?

@GOP 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@elonmusk You've got money. Get on that. That's clearly how this works.

What matters is not release of some subset of the Epstein files, but rather the prosecution of those who committed heinous crimes with Epstein. When there is at least one arrest, some justice will have been done. If not, this is all performative. Nothing but a distraction.

@iamprincehi @NickAdamsinUSA Desperation is a stinky cologne.

@NickAdamsinUSA Coming up with a novel about seeing a film is literally fucking sad lmao

I am settling in for a showing of ‘Melania’ and the theater is PACKED! Earlier, a bystander asked if I was heading in to see Avatar, and I stopped dead in my tracks. “Avatar? No, son,” I curtly replied. “I don’t watch woke movies. I’m here to see the groundbreaking documentary about our incredibly talented First Lady.” The man’s two little girls began jumping up and down, pulling on his sleeve, and begging, “Daddy, we want to see Melania!” “But. But…” he stammered, “I thought you girls wanted to see Zootopia 2?” “No, no, NO,” they said, now nearly shouting. “We want to see Melania!! She is the most beautiful First Lady EVER.” Their father was scrambling, stressed out, and disoriented. “Girls, I’m afraid you aren’t the only ones who are captivated by President Trump and his beautiful wife,” I said, kneeling to get on their level. “Virtually everyone in this theater is here for the 7:30 PM showing, and it’s been sold out for days.” Tears began to well up in their eyes. “But…” I said in a hushed tone, “I happen to have a few extra tickets with me, and I’d like you and your dad to have them.” They jumped for joy and began hugging their father. He looked relieved as he wiped the sweat off his brow with a smile. I handed him the tickets and pulled him close. “Raise these girls right,” I whispered. “Teach them to be classy conservative women of faith like Melania, don’t let them become like Meghan Markle. Capisce?” He hugged me and thanked me profusely. “What are you going to do now?” He asked. “Don’t worry about me, son,” I told him, with a twinkle in my eye. “I’ve already got tickets to the next showing.”

@realMikeLindell 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 This is such a joke.

Please help support my run for Governor of Minnesota MikeLindellGov.com