Greg Schreiber V 🧟‍♂️🦅

There will be hell toupée for this! So true! SAD!

WARNING: This may be the least flattering photo of Trump ever taken. Fuckface would absolutely HATE seeing this spread across timelines. So whatever you do… DO NOT RETWEET! Don’t share it. Let’s all be mature adults and make sure that doesn’t happen.

Hi everybody! Elmo was wondering if he could ask the Phillies some questions?

In his own words

No Tampa game this year!

Patel did this at a Pearl Harbor Memorial.

all of u rn: ____________ | we | | demand | | an | | hhn | | update | |＿_________| (\___/) || (ÒㅅÓ) || / づ me: lol

Omg…. I just can’t…

As a reporter, I'm so disappointed by the men of the White House press corps. They let Trump constantly bully women reporters. In sports, we stood up 4 each other. I once got into a brawl w/ a U Miami ass't coach over the sexist way he treated a female writer. Grow a pair!

A news reporter asked Michael Jordan if he thought the ’90s Bulls could beat LeBron’s Lakers. MJ: Yes. Reporter: By how much? MJ: Two or three points. Reporter: Why so close? MJ: Most of us are almost 60 now.

How to make a quick $60 million: 1. Start a cult. 2. Sell them phones. 3. Don't send the phones. 4. Keep the money. 5. Move onto watches and ballrooms.

What a disgrace.

So in case anybody’s counting, today he called not one, but two female reporters “stupid.” He is going to continue to do this. He’s going to start calling them far worse. Because nobody fucking stops him.

TRUMP: “I don’t think about Americans’ financial situation. Not even a little bit.” And there you have it, folks

I would have done the same.

JUST IN: The White House is reportedly testing novelty glasses with Kash Patel’s eyes printed on the lenses after Trump keeps falling asleep during press conferences.

Junior’s tweet from 2024 got updated with a community note

Trump seemingly falls asleep during an Oval Office meeting.

Trump on Joe Biden (2024): “He has an ability to fall asleep while on camera…in minutes, he’s stone-cold out, and he’s got cameras because he’s the president…You’ll never see me sleeping in front of a camera.”

BREAKING: Chelsea Handler incinerates MAGA comedian Tony Hinchcliffe with a brutal takedown at the Kevin Hart roast: "Usually on Sunday nights, you just burn a cross on someone's lawn!" This is the same Hinchcliffe who made racist "jokes" about Puerto Ricans at a Trump rally... "Tony Hinchcliffe is here. Tony is what happens when women don't have safe access to abortion care," Handler said. "Tony and Shane both live in Texas where abortion is illegal, but on the upside, if you see one of them doing comedy, there's a pretty good chance your uterus will start dry heaving on its own." While Shane Gillis was able to laugh good-naturedly at the jabs, Hinchcliffe was incredibly uncomfortable on camera, glancing around and doing his best to smile it off. "Tony is a real guy's guy, or what's more commonly known as a bottom," joked Handler. "Tony, you have the face of a school shooter and the personality of someone who gets shot first. Look at you, you look good! You've got like a little Hollywood glow-up. I didn't know veneers came in deli mustard yellow. But it actually looks a little bit better in person." "You must be using Crest White Supremacist strips," Handler relentlessly went on. "Tony and Shane, this must be so exciting for you guys. Usually on Sunday nights, you just burn a cross on someone's lawn. And tonight you get to roast a whole Black guy. Well, a half a one, because it's Kevin. "Tony, quick question: If you're here tonight, who's keeping Joe Rogan's balls warm in their mouth?" she added. Bravo! This is exactly what that Trumper hack deserves. For those who need reminding, Hinchcliffe appeared a t Trump rally at Madison Square Garden in the runup to the 2024 election and called Puerto Rico a "floating island of garbage," tossing read meat to the racist MAGA base. He deserves nothing but our disdain. Please ❤️ and share if you think that Chelsea Handler crushed it!