chrim

oh look, time to cry about dogs

I really wish my dog Tuna wasn’t so big so that if she had an accident in the house, it wouldn’t be like a nuclear disaster. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Tuna vs. ants 🐜

“why the fuck is there a dodo emoji” I’m 100% sure you would say

For the minute between Facebook reminding me it was my friend’s birthday and me opening my messaging app to text her, I forgot she was dead. I want to go back. I want to be suspended in that moment where I’m just trying to figure out what emojis she would appreciate most. 🪩👯‍♀️🦤

I am having a hard time being a new puppy mom. How can she be such an angel and then just piss on the carpet right next to meee ahhhhh

I’m just gonna start tweeting again as if this account hasn’t been dark for the past four years. 💁🏻‍♀️✨

Truly insane. #MyTwitterAnniversary

@tommyspeck @rainerpism ummm maybe me? What time is the show..?

@gwyllci The heart eyes background??

@tuckerd_art obsessed!!! 😍

@0utdamnedspot I do not blame you

@0utdamnedspot That's so amazing!!!! 😍

I made my Twitter when I was 18?? That's absolutely wild. #MyTwitterAnniversary

@Vulphii uhhh I wanna go! 😍

@0utdamnedspot Oh bb 😘😭 I can't wait

Been in Woodstock NY for three hours and it’s lovely and the people are sweet and would everyone please stop playing Led Zeppelin all the time everywhere

@rainerpism me. too. 🤦

ME: Hey, if we’re both still single in 10 years… PERSON WHO’S SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH ME: *Hopefully* …Yes? ME: We should have an honest discussion about what’s wrong with us and identify if we might be sabotaging our relationships.

I went to Verizon yesterday and asked if they had any phones that don't listen to everything you do and the guy brought me over to a flip phone for seniors and said "this one *probably* doesn't listen to you but it definitely gives your number to Medicare scams"