Sade

@Bodenclothing hi! I was held up at work yesterday and just went to place an order using the 25% discount but I missed the cut off 😖 is there anyway you could honour it?

@NoContextBrits @waggersboy

@fesshole @waggersboy

When I buy flowers for my partner, if a middle aged man says "ooh someone's in trouble!", I like to tell them one of my parent's just died. Usually shuts them up and teaches them to mind their own fucking business.

@dubslife1 @waggersboy

#JakePaul 😂

@sainsburys incorrect nutritional labelling. 1) food actually weights 385g not the 400g stated. 2) therefore half a packet of this would be 19.5 carbs. Even if there was a total of 400g food that would be 20.2carbs per half packet, no idea where you’ve got 18.2 from?

@ask_aubry @waggersboy

Pretty much sums up Andrew Tate's whole personality in the reader's notes.

This is usually £7.25 so at a reduction of 25p it’s around a 3% price drop. Not sure that’s worthy of a “big price drop” comment! @Ocado

@Ocado the best ever trifle is usually £7.25 so at a price reduction of 25p I believe that’s around 3% cheaper. Not exactly a ‘big price drop’

@anon_opin @waggersboy

Neil Morrissey's singing on the Bob the Builder theme tune sounds like it took more effort than anything else he's ever done in his life. No wonder he bought a pub with the proceeds.

@InternetH0F @waggersboy

@Cobratate @waggersboy

For 5 months they locked me in my house. During that time I developed a simple routine - Wake up. Garden. Laptop and weights. Make a minimum of 300k dollars and do a minimum of 10,000 reps. A new ice-cold water every 20 mins. A new coffee every 1.5 hours. 8-hour shifts. Usually 11 till 7. Chefs have dinner on the table at 8 - I eat my only meal of the day with the soldiers in my house. Then, discuss and smoke cigars/shisha deep into the night. Then they released me from house arrest and I'm allowed to go anywhere in the city - So I went for dinner. Went shopping. Bla bla... But I always felt guilty. I made 280k a day instead of 300. I did 1000 reps before leaving the house, instead of 10,000 throughout the day. So at the end of each day, I would analyze. Was what I did today worth losing 20k and 9000 reps of training? The answer was only yes if I was racing cars. Otherwise, the answer was always no. Fancy dinners are bullshit. How dumb do you have to be to enjoy eating food? It's a boring necessity. Clubs are bullshit. I can't possibly see all the females begging for me already, go club why? Socializing? Everyone is below me. Those who aren't are already in my house. Waste of time. Unless it's to race around in a supercar, I will literally never leave my house again. Ever. I have become a hermit. And I will get filthy rich, battle the Matrix from my podcast studio, see my children and be the strongest human who has ever lived.

@fesshole @waggersboy

My partner is a nurse and I met her at a hospital I visited to fix a broken nose. I told her I broke my nose during a fight protecting my best friend. In reality though, I had gone out for a jog and decided to close my eyes for 10 seconds and ran face first into a tree.

@MusharafAsghar @waggersboy

Today I turn 27 YEARS OLD. Which means 11 YEARS AGO I was on Educating Yorkshire. I am so fortunate to live life sharing the power of teachers. I am proud to be someone who stammers, something one teacher helped me to accept in the classroom. Thank you to everyone for the continuous support #EducatingYorlshire #PowerOfTeaching #ThankYou

@ValaAfshar @waggersboy

This is how you can scan and sign documents with an iPhone twitter.com/rosney/status/…

@Lord_Sugar @waggersboy

It seems strange that a few people have come forward at the same time. This leads me to think this is media driven and induced. It started with one person and then they went on to find others and talked them in to complaining. I guess at the end of the day the department of public procession will make the final call if the matter is presented by the police.

@daraobriain @waggersboy

Imagine escaping prison and disappearing for four days just to get nabbed outside the Taskmaster House.

@simonharris_mbd @waggersboy

@fesshole @waggersboy ??

During the pandemic I started self-publishing gay spanking novels that have sold so well I've been able to give up the day job. My wife thinks I'm still an accountant.

@fesshole @waggersboy

I've a colleague called Betty. I have to summon the energy of a thousand suns to stop myself doing a Frank Spencer impression at her. I can't be alone in this? There must be other suppressed Franks out there.

@NoContextBrits The hell 😂😂😂😂 @waggersboy