Shea Shepherd

@je_mclaughlin Fuck off

African account @sheashell2

My neighbor keeps her camera pointed straight at my back door. The camera is active. It swivels, so it is pointed in different directions throughout the day. 90% of the time it's pointed straight at my back door. She lives alone and usually has comments about what I'm doing around my house. It feels like every time i go out back i have this camera straight on me, then i notice the little blue motion light will activate. What's the best way to deal with this? Lattice? Plants?

Last year I posted 500 open positions for my company. We hired 34 people. The other 466 jobs were never real. I'm the Head of Talent Acquisition. That's not what I acquire. What I acquire is data. Resumes, salary expectations, skill sets, market intelligence. 160,000 applicants gave us their career history for free. We used it to benchmark compensation. Not to raise salaries. To confirm we were paying below market and get away with it. I call it "building a talent pipeline." A pipeline is a thing you build and never turn on. Recruiters call this "passive sourcing." There is nothing passive about wasting 160,000 people's time. But it sounds like a strategy. Some of our listings have been posted for 11 months. One has been up for two years. It's for a "Director of Innovation." We don't have an innovation department. We don't have the budget. But the listing makes us look like we're growing. Investors see open roles and think momentum. Our stock went up 8% after we posted 200 jobs in one week. We didn't hire anyone that week. Or the week after. We have an applicant tracking system. It auto-rejects 95% of applicants. Based on keywords. I don't know what keywords. No one does. It was configured in 2019 by a contractor who no longer works here. We've never updated it. Some applicants spend hours customizing their resumes. The system reads them for six seconds. Then it sends a rejection email. "After careful consideration." There was no consideration. Careful or otherwise. I know this because I'm the one who wrote the template. Sometimes I repost the same job with a different title. "Senior Data Analyst" becomes "Data Analytics Lead." Same description. Same salary. Same no one getting hired. But it resets the posting date. Fresh listings get more applicants. More applicants means more data. More data means better benchmarking. Better benchmarking means I present at the quarterly review. I presented last quarter. I showed a slide that said we "received unprecedented candidate interest." 160,000 people applied for jobs that didn't exist. That's the unprecedented interest. The VP of People called it "brand strength." The CFO asked about our hiring efficiency. I said we were "optimizing for quality over speed." Quality means we haven't hired anyone. Speed means we don't plan to. HR asked about candidate experience. I showed them our NPS score. It was 12. Out of 100. I said that was "within industry range." I made up the industry range. No one checked. They never do. Last month a candidate emailed me directly. She said she'd applied to four roles over eight months. Customized every resume. Wrote every cover letter. Never heard back. She asked if the jobs were real. I sent her to the automated FAQ. The FAQ says "We value every application." That's not true. We value every data point. There's a difference. I'm up for promotion. My metrics are outstanding. 500 roles posted. 160,000 applicants captured. Cost per acquisition: $0. I didn't acquire anyone. But the cost was zero. Zero is a good number in a dashboard. Dashboards get presented. Presentations get approved. Approvals get me promoted. I'll be VP of Talent by Q4. I don't find talent. I collect it. Like a jar you never open.

@RubbusRob @AVGirl4Life Yes it is

@AVGirl4Life If that is real, she is strong as he!!

Does this make you want to workout?

Groove Life: Turning “Nice Putt” into “Nice Birdie” The new Odyssey Ai-Dual 1/2 Ball No. 7 in for review baby! Sammy has confirmed my custom specs are correct. 👍

@chuckawaka @honeymoon250 Wow that’s a good one

@honeymoon250 Artie

Give this dog a perfect name?

@snowolfruns @honeymoon250 Funny 😄 you

@jrjtx1 @honeymoon250 The best one ❤️

@honeymoon250 Zeus

@L4Z3R37H @honeymoon250 😂😂😂😂 for real

@honeymoon250 I don't know...Samson?

@ronsterd89 Too small

What is the first word for this room? Cozy

@PaulStone68 Looks delicious

What am I making?

Who else 100% supports this?

WATCH! @CletaMitchell Explains How Fulton County Georgia Executed The 2020 Criminal Election Fraud! RINO Gov Brian Kemp & RINO Sec Of State Brad Raffensperger Stopped A GBI Investigation Into Crime. Now Raffensperger Refuses To Turn Over Docs To Feds!

@HJermolowicz @Brink_Thinker Thank you 🙏 💕

@Brink_Thinker @sheashell2 Amen. 🙏🙏🩷

Dear Heavenly Father, please heal this precious little one in the mighty name of Jesus Christ Amen

“We’re saying MERRY CHRISTMAS again!” - @POTUS 🎄🇺🇸

Stopped by the NY Port Authority to serve the officers a warm meal of appreciation. These officers work hard and it was my honor to thank them on behalf of so many grateful Americans who support the @GarySiniseFound 🇺🇸

@alcog1970 @Matt_Pinner But you told me you deleted WhatsApp

@Matt_Pinner Snapchat, TikTok

Which app is NOT on your phone?

@want2fishnow1 Hope you’re good Patrick. You can talk to me about whatever you’re going through

@bk6carfan @otokyo That’s good

@otokyo Been married for 49 yrs and my wife cooks and I do the dishes. It’s called sharing the responsibilities around the house

Yes or no?

@alopes11 @letterboxd Love this Frankenstein scene

My ★★★ review of Frankenstein on @letterboxd: boxd.it/bEUzYP