Crispin

@MichaelCGlasper I never knew until embarassingly recently that 'Urban Spaceman' was written by Paul McCartney. I mean *of course* it bloody well was 🤦‍♂️

There's The Beatles. And there's everything else.

@Captain_Mugwash @AdrianEdmondson @Beathhigh Best option in that scenario is the raised seating above the rear wheels.

@AdrianEdmondson @Beathhigh I always used to, but tonight I got on a bus and found i couldn’t be arsed to climb up to the top deck, which made me quite sad

Top deck of the bus, front seat.

@AdrianEdmondson @Beathhigh Do you pretend to drive? It still do.

@Beathhigh I always sit top deck at the front, and have done for over 65 years, it is a glorious view on the world.

@PeterTatchell @BBCNewsnight Tasing drops a person to the ground. They quickly recover their faculties.

@BBCNewsnight why did you not show the video of the police repeatedly kicking the Golders Green assailant in the head while he was tasered & incapacitated on the ground? Your reporting was biased by not showing the footage, so viewers can make up their own minds Police were right to tackle him but not excessive force

@TheCinesthetic Ok, this is not *the* most powerful, but it is powerful, given that its in a fantastic movie played by a comic legend: Planes Trains and Automobiles ' 'I like..I like me. My customers like me. I'm the real article...' Underpins the meaning of the movie from thereon.

Name the most powerful scene in a movie.

@MichaelCGlasper Well Michael, um...yes. Yes if that makes you feel good about yourself I suppose. You just carry on. Regardless.

@SirMustard What you're saying here is 'keep up the good work'. Thanks.

Just used Grok on one of my own tweets and this description of my output is devastatingly accurate.

@fesshole This is genius.

I put porridge oats in my coffee, for increased morning efficiency. Top half drink, bottom half porridge is roughly optimal.

@FootyScran I'd be all over that, to be fair.

AI slop

@ClarkeMicah @aliciawottt @popbitch It does seem a *bit* odd, but aren't we all in some way? Newsworthy odd behaviour used to be the strangling of monkeys, or the pursuit of enganging fish in sexual relations. Poor content.

.@aliciawottt I note I have now been outed by @popbitch for (gasp!) using two hand-dryers at once, one for each hand. Seemed effective to me. Quite how this makes me look 'like trhe Risen Christ' I am not sure. Must read my Bible more thoroughly, looking for hand-dryer refs.

@RonnieBaven @TonyLapidus @realDonaldTrump He did a tremendous job, not as good as me, people have told me, just check the ratings

@TonyLapidus @realDonaldTrump Tony, you are the greatest! And it’s not even close.

Trump says God wants him to be king of England @realDonaldTrump

@Garryiham @DaftLimmy No, he couldn't make it

@DaftLimmy Jesus Christ!

Fucking superb.

@kracklite3121 @DaftLimmy Yes of course it is. What a silly question.

@DaftLimmy Is this real?

@MDeMa15 @DaftLimmy He was always rather highly strung

@DaftLimmy Hitler dates Betty White in heaven? Kin el. At least he's chilled out a bit now.

@Madcyril2001 @gilescoren ... making a living

@gilescoren Won't somebody please think of the middle class white people.

Great work from The Daily Mail getting down there to confirm, expand and spread my story from Monday. dailymail.com/news/article-1…

@BarryTizer @gilescoren @boswelltoday Easier to get there than get home.

@gilescoren @boswelltoday How did they get there when there are no roads within 30 miles and it's surrounded by hedges and barbed wire?

@stuartisbister @gilescoren Well I suspect that these decent people are in a better position to give a proper FU to the jobsworths now!

@gilescoren A real shame that the couple didn’t have the time to take on the council. I’d have been tempted to ignore them and see them in court….

@HongKongJacko @gilescoren I don't pay, and was able to read this particular article in its entierity

@gilescoren One thing I like about the DM, if I see a story that's good, but it's behind a paywall that I'm too miserly to pay, then I know that if my judgement is right and it is a good story, the DM will cover it. Sometimes just a steal, but quite often like this, either way is OK.

@gilescoren @RachelSJohnson Looks like Doyle picked the wrong job to be worthy about.

@CameronYardeJnr @MorrisBrightMBE @JMHallett19935 If I'd reached my 90s and saw my end falling off a horse whilst doing what I loved, fine. But in Roy's case, tragic.

@MorrisBrightMBE @JMHallett19935 I feel the same would have happened with Roy Kinnear.

My adoration of Kenneth Williams has been lifelong. Writing to him at school, meeting him in the 80s, organising a plaque on his flat, my old bank code 2202 his b'day. Thanks to the British Library, for a project I'm working on, I've now held and read his diaries. Bucketlist ✅