Danno

@ldkop @TheMossadIL @HebAcademy On the plus side he probably left you with both of your shoes.

@TheMossadIL @HebAcademy I guess in retrospect I shouldn't be surprised that @TheMossadIL has access to my drafts...

Hey @HebAcademy How do you say "A barber gave Sapir the author a haircut at the supermarket on a couch, and Sapir told a story about a barber who counted books and numbers in a book about barbers." in Hebrew?

@TheMossadIL I'm honestly surprised Container Guy didn't make them do another take. Needs more pathos. Also Hatzolah needs to pick up its response times, can't let FakeAmbulance do better than them

AMAZING! SUPER SPEED! FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET! Watch these timeless classics: Palestinian man swings and falls… paramedics materialize in 2 seconds! Boy takes a tumble… same instant magic! Old man hits the ground… cavalry ready in seconds! All perfectly filmed from the ideal angle, of course 😂 The Palestinian real superpower isn’t rockets… it’s the world’s fastest, most prepared “spontaneous” medical emergencies 🚑 Which one is your all-time favorite? Vote in the poll below! #Pallywood

@ldkop @RweFilmin So what, it's going to arrange dates between different calibers that "have a really good personality"?

@skinydan98 @RweFilmin It says shotgun, not a tammy gun.

Which of the 4 Avot Nezikin is this? What if the gun went off because of a pothole?

@RweFilmin @ldkop so, tam/muad?

@skinydan98 @ldkop But it was likely a semi-automatic/ manual? /s

@almurray Let us know if you spot Bismarck

@TheBabylonBee Ahem - @AmyMantravadi

"Would you like me to add a 96th thesis?"

@AndrewRawson11 @HistoryPegg I would have accepted this too

That must have been some wedding gift list that #NicolaSturgeon had. She can’t remember any of the stuff on it. #SNP

@ldkop I feel like you're speaking in tongs now

Opinion: מלקחיים is one of those words that is still in use in modern Hebrew, but feels like it should have been replaced by a different word. Every time someone says it, I feel like I'm transported back to the time of Yeshayahu.

@IlanBlock @VaadHaBadchanim C'mon man, spoilers

Question for @VaadHaBadchanim What’s is the Halacha for posting parsha jokes now that Israel and America are on different ones

@IlanBlock you need to start adding a $75 dipshit fee

Commission request

@IlanBlock @CatShoshanna

@CatShoshanna Oh thats just a joke - Actual price for something like that is 350$

@almurray road to hell/good intentions, etc

I remember a conversation ten years ago about banning fracking with someone very pro the ban, and I said but isn’t the worth that then we end up relying on nice Mr Putin for fuel, he hadn’t considered it at all, and then shrugged.

Shoulder to shoulder but not like that

@ldkop Jumbo sized shotgun wedding

Is that missile sponsored by Code Pink?

@stephenfhayes I'm only surprised that you thought anyone in Congress ever had any principles to begin with.

Lindsey Graham, January 6, 2021: "Trump and I... we've had a hell of a journey. I hate it to end this way. Oh my god, I hate it... but today, all I can say is 'Count me out. Enough is enough. I've tried to be helpful.'" Watch the speech. This is what it means to have no principles, no self-respect. Sad and infuriating at the same time. youtube.com/watch?v=GfQfcU…

@TheMossadIL No waiter service? Hookahs? It's a gulag I tell you

🚨 BREAKING Following reports of uncomfortable living conditions for October 7 Nukhba terrorists, the Israeli Prison Service has upgraded their facilities to meet New York Times's minimum requirements.

DECLASSIFIED Mossad dogs have been illegally downloading Metallica albums from Napster.

@ldkop I'm thinking each appliance knows the owner's weak spot and attacks that first

@skinydan98 Our crockpots die way faster than our urns. 1. Crockpot 2. Plata 3. Kumkum 4. Urn 5. Blender (only because someone could drop it) 6. Dryer 7. KitchenAid

What is the difference between Low and Auto on a crockpot? Does anyone know?

@ldkop ::laughs in pump pots/hot water urns::

Bonus question: why do crockpots have the shortest lifespan of any appliance?

@gutgezugt @IlanBlock But then he can't use the Name Your Palestine tool?

@IlanBlock Switch to Geico

Got progressive lenses Now i see “free Palestine “ everywhere