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spammy
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"Jesus, Paul, look at this receipt—ten dollars for a single potato. This new Value-Mart AI surge pricing is killing me, man. Killing me."
“That’s nothing, Bill. Wait ’til the next update: the store will be able to see exactly how much money you have in your bank.”
“You’re kidding.”
“And your 401k.”
“@#$% me sideways.”
“That’s why I use URCHN to do my groceries.”
“Really? What’s URCHN?”
“URCHN is the latest in affordable concierge shopping.”
“Oh, you mean like Uber or Instacart. What makes them different?”
“Orphans.”
“𝑂𝑟𝑝ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑠?”
“That’s right, Bill. And not just any orphans. Dirty, starving orphans who live under overpasses.”
“Uuuh.”
“As you know, the cameras in the grocery aisle scan your face and adjust the price based on race, socioeconomic status, and dietary restrictions. But you know who always gets the best prices, no matter what?”
“…orphans?”
“Yep.”
“I don’t know, Paul, that seems a little-”
“Of course, the AI still discriminates based on race, which is why they send a multi-racial team of no less than four dirty orphans to buy your groceries.”
"Um."
“The Latino child buys your rice, and the Asian child buys your tortillas.”
“Yeah, no, I get it.”
“And the black child-”
“Sorry, uh, these are children, right? Small children?”
“Of course. Teens would raise the price.”
“How do they, uh, reach the items on the top shelves?”
“They stand on each other’s emaciated little shoulders.”
"Jesus."
"Yeah, the Hispanic orphan tends to be on the bottom."
"What?"
"Sturdy stock."
“…and how much do you save?”
“My last potato was 34 cents.”
“#$&@ it, I’m in.”
---
[r][title: AI Surge Pricing]
More Perfect Union@MorePerfectUS
Walmart is rolling out digital price tags at all of its stores. At the same time, the corporate giant just secured a patent for "dynamically and automatically updating item prices.” Plus another patent for using machine learning to predict demand and recommend prices.
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. @deepfates has put me on to the generational aura maneuver of having no iPhone passcode. Welcome to the future baby
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@franzsherbert The thing about this one? It’s still employing recognizable LLM artifacts. The artifacts you mentioned? Just one among many.
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I wonder if anyone's written about LLMspeak from a linguistic perspective. This doesn't have a single em dash and nary a "it's not X, it's Y," but you can tell *immediately* that it's an LLM. In the abstract I would not have assumed machine-produced prose would be so obvious
Kia 🧸ྀི@xevekiah
For almost two months, I was convinced my friend group had a separate group chat without me. Plans would get mentioned casually, “oh yeah, like we said earlier”, and I’d just stand there like 🙂 earlier where? If I walked into the room and they stopped laughing, my brain immediately titled it: Season 2: The Quiet Exile. I started analyzing delivery times, inside jokes, who viewed my stories but didn’t reply. Every late response felt intentional. Every “we forgot to tell you” felt strategic. One night I finally joked, “So what’s the name of the secret group chat?” They all looked confused. Turns out there was another group chat, but it was for planning a surprise birthday thing for me. The reason they’d go quiet? They were terrible at lying. The “earlier” conversations? About work, not me. The late replies? Two of them had just started new jobs and one was going through a breakup. Meanwhile, I had already mentally written a betrayal arc, drafted my villain origin speech, and emotionally distanced myself for protection. The stupidest part? Nobody was excluding me. I was just overprotecting myself from a threat that didn’t exist. That’s when I realized, sometimes the only person putting me on the outside… is me.
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spammy retweetledi
spammy retweetledi
Maud’dib shall know your ways as though born to them
BOBBY MARS@bobby_on_mars
I think if you explained some of the higher tier looksmaxxing concepts to Trump, like frame mogging, mewing, jester maxing and such, not only would he already have an intuitive grasp of the concepts, but an expert level understanding of them
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I wish Twitter had a button for "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interact with this topic. Please stop force feeding it to me."
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MrBeast reveals how he came up with the idea for his first viral video where he counted to 100,000
"I was watching Game of Thrones and Naruto and I was like man this is such a waste of time, I'm not making money doing this and I was like how can I make money while watching shows I like and I was like what if while I watch it I just record myself counting"
"The entire time I was counting to 100,000 I was watching Game of Thrones and Naruto but people didn't know that, so it looked like I was just sitting there staring at a wall for 40 hours"
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@yrechtman I have not had this experience with numbered streets and avenues
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I understand why it’s happened but it really bums me out that when you get into a yellow cab you can’t just say an intersection anymore. They almost always need a street address if it’s not central manhattan grid.
We’ve lost the recipes.
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BREAKING: Google Gemini, Perplexity, Microsoft, ChatGPT, and Claude have started citing Grokipedia as a source in replies.
The beginning of the end of the woke Wikipedia era is finally here!
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