Steve Crouch

@MarinaPurkiss As this letter in Viz shows, sometimes circumstances conspire in your favour!

This will ring true for so many blokes… Why do you do it?

@RyanPboro Thoughts and prayers.

Is there a known outage in PE1? We have been without Internet for half an hour.

It was already warm at 9am, I’ve had conversations with three different people about how it’s going reach 30°C by the weekend, I’ve seen news headlines ranging from “UK braced to sizzle” to “tropical heat dome lands in Britain”, and a man with no top on just squeezed past me in the Co-op. Something tells me it’s going to be hot.

@SoVeryBritish As seen in Viz.

British people absolutely love saying it’s hotter than either Spain, Greece or Turkey.

@richardosman It also inspired other great works of art.

I sometimes think that the JR Hartley advert might be the greatest work of art ever produced in Britain. Happy to hear alternative choices.

@jones_jamie @virginmedia Nobody likes a grass.

Evening @virginmedia - I’ve just called your customer service line due a broadband issue. A lot of noise on the line - I asked your advisor why that was & he told me ‘people are having an event here to let off steam’ - I honestly thought it was a prank Terrible customer service

@grahammarsh16 @vizcomic Ah, the famous Eldon - nice to meet you! Yeah, Newcastle’s a bit far for me too and I hate going to London. I think you’ve got more chance of them going to Leeds than I have of them coming to Peterborough!

@stevecrouch1968 @vizcomic I really wanted to attend the latest book signing (Eldon Furse) but London and Newcastle? 4 hour return drive for me in Leeds, which is in the middle! They could have dropped by, we have a Waterstones...

Picked up some nice Viz artwork yesterday and introduced myself to Simon from @vizcomic in a hotel bar last night. Luckily he knew my name or that could've been embarrassing! Me and my daughter then finished 2nd in his Viz pub quiz and won the latest Viz annual. A great night!

@haveigotnews It's not only rural communities that are affected. I regularly see stories about inner city homes near me that have farms worth well over £1m in their lofts. They'll also be hit with a large tax bill for handing these down to their kids. On top of their huge electricity bill.

Rural community assembles for major protest against PM's divisive agricultural policy, described as the Starmer Farmer Karma Drama

@EllaEyre this may not mean much to you, but you’ve been mentioned twice in the national institution that is Viz Comic recently. Someone tried to add years to your age, but I put him right!

@BBCNews I wouldn’t recommend it on that bike, @PaddyMcGuinness. Not at your age!

'A 300-mile cycle is bruises, blisters and bum pain' bbc.in/411YvaX

Got a busy night tonight. Currently running around every newsagent in Peterborough buying all their copies of Viz before my wife sees this!

@christinamartin That's easily the best rental car joke. It's a shame there Enterprise. Because you'd definitely win it.

No matter what you think of Donald Trump, you have to admit he's a motherfucking asshole.

There’s no truth in this one, I’m none of those things. Apart from misunderstood, obviously.

Another Viz letter with some truth in it. That’s not a habit I want to get into!

@EvieKingWrites I reckon I took much longer than that, but I was reading it on a Caribbean beach, so there was no hurry whatsoever!

A rare bit of truth in the latest Viz……

@christinamartin That's the sort of rubbish I'd buy, as I'm lacking in common scents.