Lauren Stieritz

Marianne Williamson

Someone explain how this clip is considered “professional”, or even informative? @realDonaldTrump is a stain on America and an embarrassment to himself.

@mary_Omm Move👏🏼 with 👏🏼 purpose 👏🏼

@Julia_Allyson I know I would if I did too. Godspeed my friend.

@Julia_Allyson I’ve tried to limit myself to one per day. It’s so hard. Every single meal i think, “this needs either a La Croix or a beer and it’d be perfect” 😂

@ShaunaJPrentice @Julia_Allyson This twitter rant is about to send Google on a fritz 😂

@Julia_Allyson Hahahah wait I did this one time last week when I was trying something new and it seemed like a nice average thing to say! 😂😂

@Summerjane18 Suddenly, the entire planet understands. Thank you for putting this into words.

Casually opened a Klondike bar. Casually turned on #LawsOfJaws on #SharkWeek. We either only had one in the freezer to start with or I blacked out and stress ate the whole pack.

@HopeFlahardy Don’t ask me how tf I remembered that name.

The Grey’s episode where they have to remove the pole from those train wreck people, gets me every time.

@HopeFlahardy Bonnie 😭😭😭😭😭

@mary_Omm My thoughts and popsicles are with you in this nightmare-ish time

@THEMKKH 😘

@stieritzl1 Thank you 💕 I will pay you in vegan hot dogs

My grandparents currently have at least 238 hotdogs in their house...

@THEMKKH I will fight them for you

@stieritzl1 That’s awesome!!! I tell my work I’m allergic to onions and so someone orders extra onion on the salad at Olive Garden at our next work lunch so I’m insanely jealous!

@THEMKKH Just your local vegetarian celebrating the “holiday” over here—we’ve got a lunch party planned at work, and they bought a pack of vegan dogs for me😂

@stieritzl1 The irony 😂😂😂

@kremerc2 @Iberia Man you’ve got a thing with sprinting through airports

Hey @Iberia your flight from Pena - mad. Just landed in MAD. We have a flight to ORY that Board in 10 minutes. Can you tell someone not to leave us since your flight was delayed?

@jk_rowling How about using those “best words” of yours, and let the emphasis occur naturally?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha someone told him how to spell 'pore' hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

@mary_Omm You will do fabulously! DO NOT go back to work after two days. You’ll think you can. Everyone does. I did. I was v wrong. I promise, you’ll need at least one more day of R&R.

@ImCraunBurgundy Like the admin who’s been a client with my company since the beginning of time who I called Josh today? Oh. His name is John. He gets one free pass at calling me Ashley.

I always triple check someone’s name before I send an email because I’m terrified of ending up on someone’s snap story

This is exactly what I hope happens when I press my noggin to #GoodBoyGoose or #PepperAnnPotts. Also this account is the only reason I’m still on Twitter, I firmly believe. twitter.com/dog_feelings/s…