sweetjesus

If that’s the size of a baguette I can’t wait to see the bagar.

@slime_machine @Alli_FPS He looks like you if you were actually Italian.

@Alli_FPS i thought this was photoshop wtf

respectful fuckboy @slime_machine

We need an alternative rock revival in every way imaginable right now.

Being a communist sucks because you know it’s probably inevitable but you also know you won’t live to see it.

@CantEverDie It’s overexposure. People get tired of seeing him everywhere so they look for things to hate about him. Happens to a ton of celebrities.

i don’t have proof for this but i genuinely think some factions online have begun to get mad and turn on him because he’s starting to look a bit older now

Mods, shiver his timbers.

@slime_machine Farming afk ops

cop didn’t show up but a true patriot did

What is it called when you want to contribute art to the world but you don’t have anything original or interesting to say?

Girlfriends be like “yes ill have the cardamom asparagus earl grey ice cream please!” And then be like “i dont like it”

Benedict and Sophie: *cinderella but worse* Francesca subplot:

@taeminluvr7 Somebody tag that smell doctor lady.

i kinda hate smelling the houses of strangers like I am in here and why can i smell your dog’s gingivitis and your credit score

you see a toddler pass out mid-morning, gripping a tiny half eaten muffin, and when they wake up later, they just start eating the muffin again. this is real freedom. there are wild horses less free than this

@SkinnyTuna Because they realize you’re on to them.

how come girlfriends get mad at you when you ask if your relationship is built on a grand conspiracy you arent privy to