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Terri

@terrip38

Gen X latchkey kid. Caution: Bad jokes ahead.

the chuckle patch 🌼 Katılım Ocak 2010
1.7K Takip Edilen2.4K Takipçiler
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Terri
Terri@terrip38·
Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.
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meghan
meghan@deloisivete·
One day, my son, all this will be yours *sweeping gesture at forgotten potatoes sprouting on the counter*
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Douf
Douf@DoufSaid·
Just remember, ALL of you are the people who keep Twitter employees employed.
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Nayele18
Nayele18@nayele18maybe·
I'm 'what's the point of lying about my age now' years old
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krista
krista@kristabellerina·
Another day, another dollar for the company that sold my email address to a third party.
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Darla
Darla@ddsmidt·
So yeah, I’m not above arguing with artificial intelligence. Since I’m a real person, I feel I can offer valuable intelligence.
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Trey
Trey@treydayway·
Only thing I've seen us united on is still calling this place Twitter
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meghan
meghan@deloisivete·
Took the kids to Build a Bear for the first time and now I need to build a second mortgage
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Ⓜ️isterD
Ⓜ️isterD@MisterD78UK·
Had a nap after work and now you can't sleep is the adult equivalent of "don't eat that now it'll ruin your appetite"
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Sam Skoronski
Sam Skoronski@SamSkoronski·
ME: The anime is a lot harder to follow than the manga. ROOMMATE: You're not supposed to watch it backwards.
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Hollie Harris
Hollie Harris@allholls·
Wondering when my husband's gene where he hates crowds as much as me will kick in, so he'll stop suggesting we go to IKEA or Costco during the weekend.
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krista
krista@kristabellerina·
I really relate to that song “Never wake me up before you go go.”
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Terri
Terri@terrip38·
Decals on the window haven’t deterred.
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Terri
Terri@terrip38·
Kudos for consistency to the kamikaze robin conducting maneuvers for the third consecutive morning into my dining room window.
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R/GA
R/GA@RGA·
Myers-Briggs is business astrology
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Eden Dranger
Eden Dranger@Eden_Eats·
When I was a kid, being out in public in your pajamas meant your house was on fire.
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meghan
meghan@deloisivete·
I'm not saying I'm old, I'm just saying I went out for the first time in a while and spent most of my time admiring the unique sinks in the bathrooms and being shocked that drinks are now $17
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krista
krista@kristabellerina·
@terrip38 There won’t be enough left to bake
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Terri
Terri@terrip38·
A package of cookie dough was marked safe to eat raw which makes one wonder how those cookies will be baked.
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Darla
Darla@ddsmidt·
Welcome to X, formerly known as Twitter, where we still call it Twitter. We’ve been expecting you.
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