Terri

I inadvertently bought acetone-free nail polish remover which turns out to be a solid option if you want to make removing toenail polish a weeklong project.

Million dollar idea: A Jamaican owned locksmith business called “Dreadlocks”

The void doesn’t care if I scream

"Marky Mark" just sounds silly. Call the man by his real name: Marcel Marceau.

I had a manager named Tom Morrow. But that was yesterday.

Overheard a kid calling another kid a peckerhead and I thought, "You know, I haven't talked to my cousin Keith in a while."

Sorry I’m late. I was reading a 40 paragraph fb post about the time a then recently widowed woman was weeping in the audience of Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show.

I hope I’m a purse dog in my next life.

Cutting your sandwich vertically instead of diagonally so you know I'm mad

I was today years old when I learned Federal law requires all funeral homes to accept Costco casket deliveries.

If the light switch is on the outside, you can control someone’s bathroom experience completely, right down to flashing the light to let them know, it’s time to wrap up.

What would you tell your younger self if you could? Because I would tell the me of 3 days ago to not buy the kids gum

I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me

It’s ok we’re aging. That’s the upgrade.

Me: do you dream about me? Wife: dream, no Nightmare, yes

You can be any parent, but maybe don’t be that one parent who causes your kid’s teacher to take early retirement.

Smoke detectors no doubt have a secret default setting to check battery life at 3am.

Most everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.