Chris Schalk

Today is the only day you can retweet this.

Tim Walz owns corn dog socks. Socks with corn dogs on them. Tim Walz. Corn dog socks.

I have not heard all the national anthems of the world. The Dutch national anthem may be the worst. The only redeeming quality is that it is very short.

Hula hooping should be an Olympic Sport.

I take back anything bad I ever said about Phish.

The sun has been setting on Fish's drums for the past hour. They are going to sound warm tonight. @phishmondegreen

@phishmondegreen Security line at 1:00.

The color commentator doing the Crew game is one of the best. I don't even know her name. #MLSSeasonPass

@staidindoors He's a little too glib about humanity's existence for me. Seems like the kind of robot that would nuke the planet to see what happens.

BREAKING: Vice President Kamala Harris has picked Tom Servo as her running mate. Tom Servo has spent the last 36 years aboard the Satellite of Love watching B movies as an experiment to judge his reaction to them. He is considered politically moderate and a robot.

Team fucking Daemon. #HouseOfTheDragons2ep8

@neorsd @clevelanddotcom @NEORSDbeaches That Schalk kid is a f'n badass.

beaches are for wading and wandering. not waiting and wondering. thanks for spending the morning with us, @clevelanddotcom. follow @NEORSDbeaches for updates on staying safe at the lake this summer.

@gdavies this shitty painting, hanging in this shitty bar, in beautiful Cleveland, Ohio looks just like you sans the mustachio.

I've been a shadow of myself since the summer of 22 when they discontinued this. Thank the Gods it's coming back. #nobettertacothanachocotaco foodandwine.com/the-choco-taco…

Good pho is good pho. #phoandbeyond #phosnob

The Crusades were jacked up. #DrRoyCasagranda #tortureandcannibalism #onthewaytoJerusalem

"The Bachelor is a toxic show." @dropout #bestgameshows

Do you ever think of a new handshake and get super juiced to try it out with someone? #kungfustance

Just normalizing the use of the term "mamma jamma" over here. #mammajamma

@katjamb Based on a book. #queenbeesandwannabees

So the Mean Girls movie is a remake of the Mean Girls musical which is a remake of the Mean Girls movie? 2024 is confusing. #meangirls #fetch

All these people drinking too much caffeine are harshing my vibe. Y'all gotta know how to handle your drugs. #chill