Langers

@nocontextfm1 I've no skin in this particular game but as a football fan, it looked as bent as a nine bob note.

Omg the decision that got Celtic a penalty - that is shocking 💀😂 x.com/jeremydokubelg…

@ratemyplatenow Possibly could use some of that Himalayan Rock Salt in the background. Other than that, would probably smash it.

Ham, egg & chips by Luke C

@ratemyplatenow Why are the mushy peas in the background a vibrant green colour and the ones at the front look like diarrhoea?

Chippy Tea

@Handre We should start a 'LeaveusAlone' party. I'm sure it would be a great success.

Allow me to propose a radical new strategy for governments: Leave people the fuck alone. That's it, that's the strategy.

@PolitlcsUK This will eventually be made into some sort of TV show on Channel 5. The last days of Keir Starmer. It's all caving in, was the same with Boris. When the public have decided enough is enough, only a fool would try to cling on.

🚨 BREAKING: No 10 staff are now calling Ministers to try to get them to publicly back Keir Starmer

@BTB_53 @anon_opin Trust me, you would miss them.

@anon_opin No one would notice if you all quit , this isn't the threat you think it is

Civil servant here. If Farage wins the next GE, he'll call us all back to the office 5 days a week. The CS will then be on the verge of collapse, as thousands of people will either retire immediately or quit, due to the removal of WFH. Cheap optics will meet reality.

@Keir_Starmer List of the top 5 things that Labour have done to improve the lives of working people in the UK: 1. Breakfast clubs 2. Breakfast clubs 3. Breakfast clubs 4. Breakfast clubs 5. Breakfast clubs.

We must respond to the message that voters have sent us and break with the status quo once and for all. We must confront the big challenges the public face with real answers. That is how we will deliver the change that people are desperate for and build a stronger and fairer country. theguardian.com/commentisfree/…

@CovidMarshall You know there is a massive pandemic around the corner when Wayne appears to save us all. God bless you Wayne.

Word has come through on the Covid Marshal hotline that the NHS are very busy preparing for a major outbreak of the Rat piss virus. Dance rehearsals will now be twice a day. 🦺

@Steven_Swinford You will own nothing and you will be happy. 🤔

BREAKING: Sir Keir Starmer warns that people may need to change their holiday plans and what they buy in supermarkets because of the impact of the Iran war It goes far further than the government's messaging so far. He appears to be implying that people may need to take staycations rather than going abroad He told @cathynewman on her new show on Sky News: 'I think we'll see how long the conflict goes on. I can see that, if there's more impact, people might change their habits… Where they go on holiday this year. What they're buying in the supermarket, that sort of thing' It sounds like a throwaway line but it goes way beyond what any other Cabinet minister has said so far

@Mrcrispy321 @SorchaEastwood The self promotion on social media is an interesting angle. Possibly the algorithms but more of this is appearing on my feed.

@SorchaEastwood Crikey, imagine posting a selfie and self-aggrandizing write up every time you did your job...

Another week in the Crucible of politics at Westminster holding the government to account!! 💪🏻 If there is a vote to refer the Prime Minister to the Standards & Privileges committee, you bet I'll be supporting it! It can't be one rule for them and another rule for us- there must be transparency, honesty and standards in public life upheld- and that's the bare minimum!

@spiked616 @thesundaysport Yes. In S. Yorkshire we say "it's a bit black over 'Bill's Mothers'". Always wondered where that came from.

@thesundaysport . . from North Nottingham. King William I bought some farmland for his mother, the weather usually heads in from the NE, and so when bad weather rolled in the good people of Notts would exclaim it was black over Bill's mothers! There is no charge 🙏

Gone black over Bill's mother's

@BBCMOTD Ah well, it was crap anyway. Good riddance.

An incredible 52-year journey comes to an end. Following extensive consideration, BBC Sport has made the difficult decision to say goodbye to Football Focus at the end of this season. First broadcast in 1974, Football Focus is a testament to the brilliant team who have worked on it over the years and, of course, the audience. The programme has been a staple of the BBC’s football coverage for decades, providing fans with interviews, analysis and stories from across the game ahead of the weekend’s fixtures. But changing audience behaviours mean fans are now increasingly consuming football content in different ways and we need to respond appropriately as we face difficult decisions around how the licence fee is spent. Fans are accessing discussion, highlights, analysis and news through digital platforms and on-demand viewing and as viewing habits continue to evolve, it is right that BBC Sport adapts how it brings football coverage to the widest audiences across television, radio, online and to its extensive social platforms. BBC Sport boasts a strong football rights portfolio and is set to significantly expand its digital output this year growing content across BBC platforms, as well as a bold new slate of exclusive shows on YouTube. Featuring fresh formats, big personalities and more frequent, always-on content tailored for digital audiences, the expansion will bring fans closer to the game than ever before delivering more high-quality, accessible and engaging football coverage at scale. We will release further details on these plans in the coming months.

@pistol147 68

Running a competition for 2 tickets for my match Saturday morning and Sunday morning plus hotel stay in Sheffield Saturday night Question….. what is my lowest score round an 18 hole golf course???? Winner picked tonight at 10pm Good luck everyone In the event of more than one correct answer winner will be drawn at random One guess per person please

@ChampionshpTalk QPR. That away end is not good.

What is the worst awayday you have ever been on?

@metoffice You might want to correct that. Tomorrow is Thursday. I already don't know what day it is without you lot confusing me.

A mix of clear spells and showers first thing on Tuesday ☔ Showers often most frequent in Scotland where they could turn heavy and thundery ⛈️ A mild start with winds easing in the south 🌬️

@A1an_M And I wouldn't let that bug through testing either.

One of my pet hates as a website user (and former programmer) is when the website tries to validate your input before you've finished typing. Let me finish FFS! 🙄😡

@SBarrettBar Use Ocado. It's reassuringly expensive.

Sainsbury's is not a supermarket It is a dystopian hell hole.

@vjg46 OMG, I thought it was just me. I can't explain why either!

When we go away I always go to the left on any beach😂 #aplaceinthesun

@mattletiss7 Most ridiculous VAR decision ever. The ball was booted at his arm from a yard. What's he supposed to do?

The football Gods obviously thought the first goal should’ve stood 😂

@b_sufc Hilarious, not. Could have caused serious injury to anyone. Grow up.

Who threw a cone at the Wendy fans 😂😂😂