The Moray Neep

@Tumshie_sona Aye was magic. They put on a great show for auld buggers ha ha .

@themorayneep A good night, wasn't it?!

Living The High Life #airscotia

@BenPhilip_ @BBCNorthEast MSM gave him the name Magnus but his actual name is Vlad.

“He’s a big boy!” 😮 Magnus the walrus has become something of a celebrity in the north of Scotland in recent days… He was last seen making a splash in the sunny village of Findochty, but where will he turn up next? 📺 BBC Reporting Scotland 29/04/26 🎥 Nathan Kidd

@DocAtCDI @MrsAstronaut Or had to stand next to a telly after adjusting the aerial because when you moved the signal is lost. You became the aerial and everyone in the room wid tell ye tae stay still.

If you've never rewound a cassette tape with your finger, you have no right to complain about buffering.

@CNN A robot with wheels would’ve been faster no?

A humanoid robot won a half-marathon in Beijing in 50 minutes and 26 seconds, finishing faster than Ugandan runner Jacob Kiplimo's world record. Read more: cnn.it/4dWXNC6

@MysterySolvents All his minions also turn to dust and colour returns to the world. Flowers open and birds start singing again. A fresh wind blows sweet smells across every land like a window being opened after a stinky fart.

What happens when Trump dies?

@XMartinsMusicX A Muppet Christmas Carol is number 1.

My Top 10 Favourite Movie Soundtracks... what are you adding? 1. Quadrophenia 2. Trainspotting 3. Superfly 4. Help 5. Rushmore 6. O Brother, Where Art Thou? 7. 24 Hour Party People 8. High Fidelity 9. Easy Rider 10. Almost Famous

@EdKrassen Reminds me of another great speech … we shall fuckin fight on the beaches, we shall fucking fight on the landing grounds, we shall fucking fight those crazy fucks in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the fuckin hills; we shall never fucking surrender bitches!

BREAKING: Yes, this post was just made by Donald Trump's account: "Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fuckin' Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in Hell." YES IT IS REAL! We are being led by a war criminal nut job!

@WilliamShatner Aye was snowing in Inverness but melted pretty quick and now the suns out . Freezing cold though.

I saw a video of someone driving in Scotland and it was snowing today. 😉

@msiziworld Handy for chip shops on the international space station.

Wait—this is seriously bad, isn’t it? No wonder cancer has been going up lately.😭

@offtheballbbc Elgin is no longer a city so could rebrand to Elgin Toon.

If your club were to re-brand... What would they be called? 🤔

@orleansway Nuclear Assault

@Milajoy 1986 when the A Team got cancelled.

When was the exact moment in America when everything started going downhill? I say when Barack “Barry” Obama was elected.

@Milajoy Does he give you bad reviews of movies?

What actor makes you immediately not want to see a movie? I'll go first: Robert De Niro

@TheExtremeMusi1 Not even in my top 3 Paul McCartneys of all time.

Is Paul McCartney in your top 3 musicians of ALL TIME???

Was pretty good , made me laugh and that’s what it’s for. Will watch again. #SNLUK

@JohnSwinney @theSNP Aye are ye nae in power the noo? So how come feck alls happened with the independence thing that folk voted ye in for the last time and the time afore etc etc.

With independence, we can lower your energy bills, rejoin the EU and build a fairer society. That future is ours to win. On May 7, vote for it - make it #BothVotesSNP.

@iam_jlc Auto rewind was the future come true.

If you’re thinking about buying a new VCR, Betamax is the way to go. Far superior to VHS and if it was me, I’d go for a toploader. It’s less to go wrong.

@ThatEricAlper Why does it always train on me - Travis.

What's a great song about or mentions trains?

@DaftLimmy Avin a bit of how’s yer father should be the standard , or having nookie.

Do English people now say "getting laid"?