Matt

"Congratulate Arsenal or go to jail" Me:

Urghh insufferable cunts arsenal

Been out the country for 2 weeks and just had to break the news to mum that Jason prior has left Dorking , she’s actually in bits 😭😂

🔜

@SouthamptonFC Sure about that

Working towards Hull 💪

An Independent Disciplinary Commission has today expelled Southampton from the Sky Bet Championship Play-Offs after the Club admitted to multiple breaches of EFL Regulations related to the unauthorised filming of other Clubs’ training. In addition, the Club has received a four-point deduction that will be applied to the 2026/27 Championship table. The effect of today’s order is that Middlesbrough are reinstated into the 2026 Play-Offs and will proceed to the Play-Off Final against Hull City. The final remains scheduled for Saturday 23 May, with the kick-off time to be confirmed. 📘 efl.com/news/2026/may/…

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha that’s ludicrous even as a Pompey fan , anyway up the boro

New No. 1 🤝 New Goalkeeper Kit Glenn has been sporting our brand new goalkeeper kit for the 2026/27 season. Get yours via the link below ⬇️ shop.dwfc.co.uk/collections/go… RT THIS POST FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A SIGNED SHIRT 👕

I personally dont like unknowingly being served/sold halal in my own country, so I really couldnt give a flying f*ck!

@GBNEWS We’re so back baby

Pork sausages served to Muslim passengers on deportation flight gbnews.com/news/muslim-pa…

@BurnleyOfficial Every fucking where

Where will you be supporting us from? 🌍

Rival fans asking an already relegated Burnley side to stop Arsenal tonight

Hi, I’m your 6th health secretary in 10 years Together, we can keep burning cash while delivering 3rd world patient outcomes If we work hard, we can break last years record for malpractice payments

@Callum_OUFC He was wank on loan this season

Defo goes Pompey but in a world he doesn't I'd be all over that

@DorkingWDRS Some big names on the way out

Following the conclusion of the 2025/26 campaign, Dorking Wanderers can confirm its retained and released list ahead of the upcoming season. 👉 Read in full: dwfc.co.uk/2026/05/retain…

Is the NHS ready for this much testosterone?

@_CharlieCarter1 @DorkingWDRS All the very best for the future skipper , the ultimate pro and wish you nothing but happiness for you and your family ❤️

This has probably been the toughest decision I’ve had to make in football, what a special club this is! Thank you to everyone involved you have been absolutely quality with me since day one and I’m going to miss everyone. Once a Wanderer always a Wanderer ❤️❤️❤️

@OfficialShots Lovely stuff up the wanderers

The club can confirm that we have agreed an undisclosed fee for Josh Barrett to move from Aldershot Town to an unnamed club for the 2026/27 season and beyond. I don't think there's a Shots fan out there who doesn't agree that what Josh did here at Aldershot Town was magic! Having recently joined the Shots 100 club, Josh accumulated over 40 goals and assists for the club in that time. A couple of the many key moments in a Shots shirt, include a beautiful Boxing Day free-kick against rivals Woking and his hat-trick against Oldham Athletic in a 3-1 away win for the Shots. Needless to say, a huge part of our Wembley success, where he scored an absolute screamer in the final to make it 3-0 to the Shots, a moment I'm sure every single fan will never forget! Shots manager Scott Davies had this to say "Firstly, it’s a huge thanks to Josh for what he’s done for this football club during his time here. From afar I have always seen that Josh has been a fan's favourite in the way he plays the game and admire his undoubted ability as a footballer. Josh made it evidently clear that with a young family, he wanted security by having more than one year left on his current contract. From a club's point of view, it was difficult to offer Josh a new and improved deal at this time so we’ve reluctantly accepted an offer from elsewhere. We thank Josh for his time at the club and wish him well in the future". He's got magic in his boots, he bleeds red and blue, Shots fans, join us in thanking Josh Barrett for all his efforts during his 2 and a half years here, once a Shot, always a Shot!

🚨NEW: Dorset Police have announced that 44% of alleged sex offences in Dorset are carried out by asylum seekers living in asylum hotels

Well, well, well Andy B. There’s always a tweet. I look forward to you calling an election when you replace Starmer.