More Coffee For Me, Boss

Universe: look at yourself. fractured, aren’t you?

@suchnerve No but if you don’t wear a suit it will work on me and if you wear a suit it will definitely work on me maybe thrice over and that’s something. A pittance

So is there a feminine woman version of the thing where a guy can cheat code his way into getting taken seriously by just always wearing a suit…?

@suchnerve Thanks, I’ll be thinking about this all morning

Very important information, thank you

@suchnerve Just toss away that pesky autistic sense of justice and you’ll make boatloads of cash at the expense of your soul no biggie ezpz /j

Floating the idea that I might become a conservative grifter at any point in the future is definitely way up there near the top of the Most Offensive Things It’s Possible to Say About Me leaderboard and I’m not joking

Found a better quality version of the first china il commercial via wayback machine

@suchnerve Missed your voice

Heck of a metaphor for the state of the world amidst ever worsening climate change and fascism, though

Listening to a lot of Phantogram, Neon Indian, Father John Misty, Beach House, Broken Social Scene, Cigarettes After Sex, Best Coast, and MGMT.

life would be sooo good without my curse

Do u wanna come over and lay in bed like the grandparents from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

@suchnerve @suchwhisper Guess it’s time to roll up my sleeves to prove I can be trusted with beautiful internet women’s secrets

he realized how strange it is to be anything at all! he mad!

👇👇👇

@suchnerve Fart justice… Your mind 😭🫡

Anyway I think if you play audio out loud in public, you deserve for other people to fart on you since clearly you’re not a believer in the idea that people owe each other courtesy

(Suggesting autistic man conversation starters) Ask him about fungus. A lot of ’em LOVE to talk about mycelial matters.

@suchnerve Find yourself a man who looks like he skins men alive, problem solved

Fastest ick I’ve ever been given was when I showed a guy’s selfie to a friend like “Isn’t he hot” and she said “He looks like he skins women alive in his basement” and suddenly I couldn’t unsee it… instantaneous desiccation