ned

DUDE JACKING OFF IN THE COURT ROOM ZOOM!!!!!!

Dumb fucks fell for the free buses trick 😂 Sharia law is coming to New York City and there is nothing you can do to stop us

grubhub in nyc defaulting to halal food, can't even uncheck the box smh

Rest in Power King, I loved you on Seinfeld

me, fantasizing about the speech I give at my dad's funeral going viral: yeah order 517, the one with the mcchicken

I was so surprised- usually, they never give feedback

They are not lying when they say the job market is brutal rn

me trying to talk someone out of kts: nooooo :( lowkey it would show them all tho

my dad said he had a dream he was a baby the other night and i don't know why but that was one of the most alarming things ever

Me reading infinite jest outside a coffee shop in grey sweatpants

Getting a tech for telling the ref a really confusing riddle

I need everyone’s thoughts and prayers at all times

The day after Mother’s Day should be a national holiday — we shouldn’t have to go into work hungover after getting fucked up with our moms

If Dr. Pepper were real he would be my general practitioner regardless of insurance

If Dr. Pepper were real I would go to him

You can tell the lady who recorded the "Insert cash or select payment type" audio is hot as hell

Yeah I was boys with the pope, we hung out, played overwatch, but you don’t see me on the news acting like I was POE (Pope Over Everything)

Will Smith should go up and slap the shit out of Conan O’Brien

When you're non-binary, are you born with a carabiner for your keys, or is a carabiner for your keys thrust upon you?

@fastlain Respect 🫡 I tried googling it and it said I misspelled ASPCA so, tough road to hoe