Pete Mitchell OBE

@fesshole She knows…

Work colleague is obsessed with Prince Harry and his rapidly balding head. Getting regular updates on the level of bald with every new image published. Can't tell her H's head looks like my ex's ballsack as I'm trying to forget about him.

@anonymous_darts Not sure why people are questioning Bunting being included but then saying it should be based on rankings! On rankings, Bunting should be in. Rock should also be in as he’s no. 9 (so 8th with no Anderson) The unlucky one is Searle and Price is lucky from 12th in rankings.

And there it is! Full premier league line up Littler Humphries van Veen van Gerwen Clayton Rock Price Bunting What we saying?

@joshpearson180 🏆 Winner? - Littler 😬 Biggest upset in the groups? - MVG & Anderson to finish bottom 2 📺 Tie of the groups? - Beau v MVG 👀 One to watch? Springer 🎯 9 darter? No

The 2025 Grand Slam of Darts gets underway tomorrow! Here are my predictions that will 100% happen 😂 🏆 Winner? - Price 😬 Biggest upset in the groups? - Rock 📺 Tie of the groups? - van Veen v Nijman 👀 One to watch? Cam Crabtree 🎯 9 darter? YES Let me know yours!👇🏼🎯

@Jamani_Khanyi @grok I don’t get it…

Hello @grok in 24hours pick one comment with no likes to win this iPhone Goodluck fam ❤️🥳

@itsocheagain More likely to go the other way. If you are crap and can afford to throw away £500 on the day out, a big chunk will be able to do £1,000 too. But the younger players or less well off good players may end up missing out.

So I’ve read elsewhere that Q-School fees will be close to £1,000 If true, Good. Hopefully it gets rid of the pointless deadwood #pdc #darts

@lfc_lance Definitely not old

Guess the player Level: Difficult

@Snooker_Chat Sums him up. Very quick to criticise others, but looked back like he hadn’t done anything when he would 100% of felt that. Horrible individual.

Snooker referee Peggy Li has been rated "world class" for making an eagle-eyed call in the Xi'an Grand Prix. Li spotted Shaun Murphy unintentionally hit the pink before potting a close range red. The foul has been watched at least 17 million times. #snooker Video: WST

@BattlinBarrow @fesshole “gp stand in the corner” Are you assuming it’s a doctor?

@fesshole Also you are wrong. The official standard states that the first part is infact case sensitive. It's just that most providers choose to ignore that fact but there are some that may not. So gp stand in the corner

Call centre worker here. I record a tally when the customer, before providing their email address, state 'all in lower case'. No Doreen, your email address is case-insensitive. Highest count in a day is 24. We need to educating the UK public.

@coolhandfluke76 @fesshole This one sounds a bit more serious…. Someone should have stopped all that raping

@fesshole I was on a plane last week and a woman was raping in the toilet. Alarm didn't go off but the cabin crew knew because it (and she) smelt like fruity fruity vape in there.

Started sneaking to the toilets at work to have a crafty puff of a vape despite signs saying sensors are so sensitive even the slightest puff will set them off. I now try everywhere that it says I shouldn't. I've only really got planes to go. Nothing's ever gone off once.

@baileyray @Gregory__Adams @clownworld So you check if they do first before getting in their way?

@Gregory__Adams @clownworld Polite dick! ... for the record, having a connection flight is a different story.

🤣

@fesshole Is your dad a PE teacher?

First month at uni. Met a lad in a bar and went back to his room. Midway through, he yelled "Mummy!" and I could feel myself dry up. I assume this is a porn influence. Definitely not my thing. I told my friends because you have to protect each other from that kind of filth.

@fesshole I think the most pathetic thing is you don’t have a box of random nails you have stored up over the years for an occasion like this

I stole something today. I needed 2 tiny nails, but B&Q only sell them in packs of 50 for £9+. So I poked a hole in the packet and took two. I'd have paid if there was an option to. Not sure which is more pathetic and petty: my crime, my excuse, or their pricing structures.

@Mike_kim714 22

Not sure if some would be into this but would someone want my tour bag? The one I’ve used since Bay Hill (Clubs not included haha)

@flushingitgolf I was thinking exactly the same watching him. Great to watch

I love how fast Ryan Fox plays golf. No messing around. Get set up comfortably, have a quick look at the target and go. Slow play wouldn’t be an issue if everyone played like Foxy!

@GamerDadTx @flushingitgolf Quick there too

@flushingitgolf Most players get off the tee box pretty quickly. What does this one do on the greens? I think that’s where most time is wasted

@fesshole I’m sure they all get the jizzt of it

My 5 year old daughter frequently entertains friends and family with the story of when she came into the lounge and caught me scratching my bum really vigorously. She does the facial expressions and everyone laughs. Obviously, I was having a wank. Everyone must know. Mortified.

@fesshole Yeah, I’ve played this. Very high risk to leave it to 9 & 10, in case you end up passing your mum/sister

When I'm walking down the street I play a game where I have to select which 1 of the next 10 women I walk past I would shag. The risk being if I choose too early I risk missing out on a stunner as once I select I'm locked in and can't change. Truth is, none of them would shag me.

@fesshole Nice story. Can’t see how it’s in any way a “fess”

Always unlucky at dating. That changed when I was having a drink at a bar. A woman approached the bar & ordered herself a drink. Then some guy came up & said a really bad chat up line. I muttered "oh fuck's sake" & she burst out laughing at my reaction. Got chatting. Married her.

@LIVGolfNation The fact you have referred to it as the British Open tells us all we need to know… The Masters The Open US Open PGA

Golf Majors Ranked: 1. US Open 2. The Masters 3. PGA Championship 4. British Open This list is not up for debate.

@fesshole Of all the days you last forgot to floss, it was Steak & Blowjob day… did you get side-tracked?

The 14th of March 2025 will mark the 10 year anniversary of when I last failed to floss my teeth at bedtime. I'm quite proud of my flossing record but also aware it's too sad to even admit to my dentist.