Tom Kennedy

@hannahfearn I had a six hour visit to A&E after a bike accident on my way to work a few months back and it felt like I was on holiday. Kids are 18 months and turning 4.

@sewistwrites While eating breakfast this morning in companionable silence with my 3 year old, I asked him what he was thinking about. He seemed quite puzzled and replied ‘I’m not thinking. I’m eating.’

@lib_urgh_al That’s only if you don’t use butter as well…

Sorry, but I still fail to understand the logical reasoning behind putting the jam on first. The clotted cream is analogous to butter in the scone world. Fight me

@Komaniecki_R Or, hear me out: one clap in 1/440th of a second.

Music tip: If you need to tune your instrument but don't have a tuner handy, simply clap 440 times per second and the resultant sound will be an A

@standupmaths Took me a sec but than I cot it.

I think I’m pretty funny.

@jane_a_2023 @realgirl_fieri @emilykmay Imagine all the time saved on getting them dressed in multiple layers and waterproofs every time you want to leave the house, not to mention how much less laundry there’d be, and how much quicker to dry it…

@realgirl_fieri @emilykmay I hear ya!!! So much easier to parent little ones in warmer climates, in my opinion

@choralwork You’ll want to make sure you’re singing from the same hymn sheet.

It strikes me that campaigning regularly about church music on social media often involves pulling out all the stops to preach to the choir. Anything else spring to mind?

@colinrtalbot @drjennings I really like this, but I also want it to be a ninth.

@drjennings Decimate. It only means one tenth of what people think it does.

@mralistairgreen Hashtag iddieformykiddie. You can have that for free.

Family isnt just the best thing. It is EVERYTHING. Heck knows my little tribe (Jared 28,Chas 1, Teet also 1) can be trying at times but there isnt a day that goes by where I dont thank the good lord for blessing me with these guys xx #mykidsaremyworld #iddieformykids #andkill 💖

@ECR_Maths @cmdbrazenhussy I mean, for starters, whats with the round buttons…?

@cmdbrazenhussy I love the old one, but the new one is a mess 😩

Teaching correlation and regression in #CoreMaths. I will never forgive Casio for bringing out 3 models of calculator with a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT set of steps for every function 😩 Every new thing now has to be taught 3 ways. Ughhh. I used to enjoy teaching this topic 😆

Please support this important campaign: megaphone.org.uk/petitions/fair… via @megaphoneuk

@PatrickAllies Very rare to see this level of tailoring nowadays…

@menwritewomen I can select exactly the right size container for any amount of leftover food.

i feel like everyone is born with one or two bullshit sixth senses/talents like, i can always tell when something of mine is done baking without needing a timer and i can hear a few stanzas of a song in a movie and pretty consistently pinpoint who the composer is what's yours?

@rbarrywalker @QuireMemes Specifically, hard as iron

@QuireMemes I like it in the bleak mid-winter.

I like it right against the forest fence by st agnes fountain keep it going

@doodlyroses Either way, it’s a track.

@MartinF00617462 @E_N_O How exciting! Can’t wait to hear how it went!

If you are near the London Coliseum this evening, you could do worse than get a ticket to see one of the future stars of British opera give his debut performance in one of the pivotal roles of British opera. John Finden as Peter Grimes @E_N_O

@clhubes Triplets called Faith, Hope and… Kevin

@OFalafel ‘Just let me staple the vicar’ We are family

In honour of Trixie’s dad, I want to know which song lyrics you get wrong on purpose OR which ones you unintentionally got wrong

@robinince Open water

@hmtreasury Support it or lose it

The UK has a world leading creative sector with our musicians, artists, fashion labels and publishers known across the world. In the last decade this sector has grown over 1.5x faster than the UK economy – boosting jobs, opportunities and growth for people across the country.