Tiffany Smith ✏️

@realgirl_fieri I bet the crusts weren’t even cut off! These kids. Pulling scams everywhere.

@LongBrynne @craigbrucesmith Congratulations Dr. Long 👏

@ajshults Anything involving Bluey. Will you be near any pools or splash pads? August is made for playing in the water.

@craigbrucesmith My ring 😭

Went to buy my wife a ring. Tag said 38,000 yen (about $300 US), but needed it re-sized by tomorrow. “we can’t do it that quickly on platinum….it’s 38,000,000 yen ($1.3 mil US)” (000 were hidden under box) With a straight face: “But I needed it tomorrow.”

@DanielGullotta SO many lawn companies this time of year

Nothing like teenage door to door salesmen knocking at your door and waking your toddler up from his nap early… 😡

@craigbrucesmith @Schwarzenegger No you won’t 🤨

Yes, I would put a chainsaw carved @Schwarzenegger statue in my yard

@basicallybari I’ve seen the g-suite/Slack light and I’m NEVER going back. More companies need to include their tech stack in job ads. Good luck today!

I start my new job tomorrow and they use g-suite & slack and I’ve only used outlook and teams and I am low-key NERVOUS 🥲

How many university English departments are currently changing their names to the Tortured Poet’s Department?

@ChezSpecter Emily in Paris. Barbie.

Help needed! I'm writing a feature on interior design for living alone – and compiling a list of pop culture representations of living alone (e.g. Carrie Bradshaw in recent And Just Like That series). Any other suggestions?

When you ask your husband to bring you “A” bottle of water. But he knows you too well.

@sarahhollowell Send food delivery gift cards. And snacks

What is helpful and good to do when your friends have their first baby

@hemmist @craigbrucesmith @DavidHeadPhd Search custom book ornaments. Here’s an example: etsy.com/listing/897430…

@tiffanyiswrite @craigbrucesmith @DavidHeadPhd Do you have a link per chance ?

Make sure you have a copy of A Republic of Scoundrels on your tree…or at least under it. @Pegasus_Books

@craigbrucesmith @hemmist @DavidHeadPhd Etsy has plenty of options. @DavidHeadPhd that’s why I asked for the cover jpg 😂

@hemmist @DavidHeadPhd @tiffanyiswrite She gets me one for every book release apparently

@Clarissa_Laskey I’ve been cooking Thanksgiving for about 15 years. You’ll be ok. Get a charcuterie board for apps. Follow the NYT turkey recipe, and make sides you enjoy. A dry brine starting tonight is the easiest. Then think of it as a big chicken. Most important: the cook doesn’t do dishes!

I hate to announce this but the time has finally come. I’ve tried for so long to avoid this but at 43 years old it’s finally my turn to make a Thanksgiving turkey and somehow the whole meal actually… Please send all thoughts, prayers and favorite recipes.

@awelfle Did they get that from ChatGPT? 🥴

@kelsapellet Your dissertation is going to be a best-seller 😂

I’m lowkey scared to read this in public.

@MarkTyBoyd Someone spent too much time on urban dictionary. No time conducting any interviews with their target audience.

Y'all still have time to take this back into the boardroom for major revisions. I'm talking M-A-J-O-R revisions. This is cringe, tasteless, and unappealing. Be better marketers and communicators.

Makes my momma heart proud. She wants to wear pretty dresses AND wield a sword. The future is yours, kid. ❤️

@craigbrucesmith I think we’re doing something right. She can start fencing lessons in two years 🤺

The princess has selected her sword

My 5yo has eaten at least two cheese sticks a day for most of her life. Today she informed me she doesn’t like cheese sticks. If that doesn’t sum up #parenting, I don’t know what does. 🤦‍♀️