Tom Watson

I entered the Cabaret Lottery for £25 tickets on @TodayTix! Tap here to enter: todaytix.com/london/shows/2…

Miss Piggy and Kermit are bootlickers. Would never catch Gonzo and Rizzo there. They’re muppets of the people✊

actually she said "you have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words yet im one of the lucky ones. people are suffering, people are dying, entire ecosystems are collapsing" complete the quote, dumbass

HI IM A SHOUTY MAN

@porkway Just use motherlode

Couldn't have said it any better, Shia LaBeouf.

@RebekahLGoodwin @JackHoward @DeanDobbs @fran_fry Why did you flip the tab-le?

Sharing the Jack and Dean love @JackHoward @DeanDobbs @fran_fry a true classic 😂

@h3h3productions I’m from UK and scootermania is real here too dude. Just saw a lady on her scooter driving towards my car on the wrong side of the road! Must be from your side of the pond!

im a little boy and ive hurt my knee

Piers Morgan, free speech advocate, incinerator of snowflakes. A story in four tweets.

Watching The World’s End at 11 at night and ITV2 still cut out the ‘cunt’ in the ‘fuck off back to legoland’ line! @edgarwright , @simonpegg your scripts are masterpieces. Fuck the Radio Edit. Long live the originals!

My final piece of work for 4creative, Channel 4 (if you don't like it you know what to do)

friendly reminder that the Amazon forest has been on fire for 20+ days now, wildlife is being killed and half of brazil is being covered in such a thick layer of dust and ashes that São Paulo got dark at 3pm yesterday bc sunlight couldn’t breach through

The Amazon Rainforest supplies Earth with 20% of oxygen and is thought to be home to 30% of all species. And yet this beautiful place is being destroyed by a fire that has lasted 20+ days the smoke alone can be seen from Space . #AmazonRainforest #PrayForTheAmazon

Just seen these pictures from The Amazon which is on its 3rd week of burning! Today was the first I heard about it, this Earth is truly being destroyed in front of us and it’s heartbreaking that not enough people care to even let the world know this is happening 💔

@BillGates @JeffBezos hey guys. Not sure how you would do it as I am just a mere pauper but could you please donate some of your billions to save our rainforest? Money=power & it takes people with power to make big actions. Hope you choose to be on the right side of history xo

Need to write a mod for Paradox games that gives you a friendly reminder to stretch/drink/eat every hour or reminds you that you've spent 8 hours on one game and haven't stopped. For a friend.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE youtube.com/watch?v=HfwPL-…