Tom

Phil Mitchell after taking one look at my Spotify Wrapped

i genuinely cant stop laughing at this its so stupid

"who hurt you?" oh my parents, the economy, rent prices, my unrealistic expectations, that weird thing i said last week, the government, do you want me to keep going

Anxiety is so embarrassing. Oh no, I’m terrified at the farmers’ market.

You: *pronounces Bon Iver as it's written* Most annoying guy you know, barely able to conceal his delight: what did you just say

one thing about me is i will absolutely buy myself a little treat after overcoming the most minor inconvenience

🚨Kate Middleton has mysteriously cleared her Instagram account and posted 3 cryptic videos of a snake…

Me to my boss: Hey I have to wfh today, I couldn't answer the riddles three. Yep, they didn't let me across the bridge. I'll see you on Teams though.

taylor swift album called the tortured poets department????? with bookmarks for merch???? and a bonus track called the manuscript????? oh i'm about to be insufferable

oh my gods what an annotation

Therapy is not enough I need to uppercut my father

@bisexualiTay Where have you heard it? 😱

I think Bobby Sox is my favourite song off Saviors

can’t get my head around skiing holidays. going abroad to be cold and fall over? no thanks. also it’s tory

@markaldan Yeah, thought I was seeing things!

I'm sorry to everyone who dealt with my Taylor Swift obsession in 2023. I promise 2024 is going to be MUCH WORSE

Had a dream I went to get a tattoo from @joelycett but he refused to give me a tattoo of a 3 eyed fish because it was a "xenophobic symbol" so he pulled out a comb and scissors and trimmed my nipple hair instead. Stop being weird, Joe.

@harriekd You can only do what's right for you. I know ultimately this isn't unexpected but I'm just so sorry that you're in this situation, it's so unfair. The way you've handled everything is beyond admirable and I hope you know how much you mean to so many people.

New blog post: sorry it’s a rough one, but…. The time has come harriekd.com/2023/12/28/hos…

lay the table with the fancy shit

@harriekd I'm sorry Harrie, that sounds so frustrating and miserable 😔

Well, friends, i have been in bed,no exaggeration, for about 70-75% of this week. One meal out and i can’t function for DAYS. In the past when i said i could hardly function it’d be like “oh i can’t watch tv without being restless” now it’s like “I can’t go to the bathroom alone”

At first I was decayed, I was putrefied, Kept thinking I could never live without formaldehyde...