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@Kittenwaffin Pig

I'm surprised to see a fork...

@RickD_GK They'd be outside all day if they were my dogs.

This is when I would start building a privacy fence around my property. People have become so damn petty!

@LizziejackLiz It's minging stuff

Local farm shop. 6 stems of asparagus £7.99 🤯. Not even oooking very nice

@KeruboSk No

My friend of 5 years got married last weekend. I wasn’t invited. She said it was “just family,” so I respected it even though it hurt. I still congratulated her. Still showed love. Now she’s asking me to lend her money because she overspent on decor and a cameraman. Be honest: would you help in this situation?

@BBCNews Oh please... give it rest love

Madonna announces sequel to Confessions On A Dancefloor album bbc.in/3QHgzDN

@labourpress Yet no apology for the disaster you've turned it into in under 2 years.

Yet still no apology for the mess they left Britain in.

@SarahForRuncorn Then he had a hissy fit at the speaker when leaving

Today, the House of Commons Speaker finally lost patience with Starmer. After 18 months of dodging questions and avoiding the scrutiny the job demands, MPs across the House have had enough. Despite one of the worst records of any British Prime Minister, he has cynically used PMQs to attack other parties, particularly Reform, knowing we have no right of reply. Today, he was called out, and quite right too. He has been an embarrassment to the office he holds, and the sooner he is gone, the better.

@AvonandsomerRob Cheese and onion

If you can only eat one flavour of crisps for the rest of your life, which are you choosing?

@SSB_Rick 25+ years sober. 1 day at a time, it gets easier trust me. Just count each day as another win.

My name is Chris and I’m an alcoholic. I’m 31 days sober today. I have been invisible because I got checked into a mental facility for 2 days. They got me some much needed help and put me on anxiety meds. Hopefully I can keep this streak going and alive! I’m doing a lot better today

Probably illegal

Grow up

@celtic_jaime Pip claims fucked

Rave never dies 🕺 🎶

@washghost1 Better to taste it than waste it

I’d go out to get milk and never come back if my girl did this

@SorchaEastwood They know but they don't care

Sometimes you've got to stand up and speak truth to power ✊️ This government have no idea of just how bad people have it right now. In fact, they've no clue. The cost of living crisis is crushing people. Crushing their hopes. Ordinary people kept their end of the bargain, paying in working hard but they've been let down by successive govts and have nothing to show for it. The govt need to urgently change economic course now and deliver for people, this can't continue.

@joncraig #Stomer shouldn't be given the questions in advance either.

After Lindsay Hoyle & Keir Starmer appeared to have words at end of PMQs, Speaker’s spokeswoman told Sky News: “Answers should be confined to the points contained in the question. The Speaker has made this point to officials at No. 10 on several occasions recently as well.”

@DVATW No money for our armed forces either

Can’t help Trump but will help Zelenskyy

@TomeHeroCom That'll be...cancelled

$260 million. 3 seasons. Canceled. The same Wheel of Time producers now want to build "the next Arcane." Sanderson walked away with a different lesson. tomehero.com/en/news/7_the-…

@BTP IQ of a snowball

Dino Donaldson has been found guilty of stabbing a university student to death at a West London station in January 2024.   Watch as CCTV captures him laughing on a night busjust an hour after the brutal murder. Read more: btp.police.uk/news/btp/news/…

@NoFarmsNoFoods And that's a 3rd floor flat

The chances of a cow turning up at your house are extremely low, but never zero.