Todd Probus

Never in doubt.

No matter how this Santa Clara game turns out, the fact of the matter is that this was a badly-constructed roster, coached badly, that also got some bad breaks, injury-wise. I hope it still works out, but if Mark Pope had played at Wisconsin, he wouldn't be the Kentucky coach.

Don't sleep on breakfast from Wendy's

St. Patrick's Day is just a holiday they made up to sell more Patricks.

what is this weather even doing

Wait a second the Oscars happened?

Great job, NYC!

This is also what I call my spending money

I would MUCH rather see Miami (Ohio) in the NCAA Tournament than some Power 5 school that pooped down its leg over the last month of the season knowing it was squarely on the bubble.

When I’m President, the volume of commercials will be exactly the same as the volume of whatever show or game you’re watching.

Journalism

THANK YOU PRESIDENT TRUMP

Everyone remember to leave your clocks alone tonight.

I wanted Pope to be it.

The announcers on this Ohio/Miami game are….not great.

Just play your best players. When they get tired, take them out. When they’re rested again, put them back in. This isn’t rocket science, man.

It’s 8:12 on a Tuesday morning. There’s absolutely no need for this airport to be playing “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy” by Rod Stewart over the PA system.

@JonAcuff I book speakers for our events and I’m gonna book you as soon as I can arrange to put a queso fountain in the green room.

What a terrible way to show gratitude for the greatest job in the world — getting paid to encourage people. If you want to make an event planner furious, do that. If you want a long, sustainable, fun career — do the opposite. Show up to serve, not to be served.

How to make an event planner furious. If you're a public speaker like me, your number one job is to make the event planner look like a rockstar.

Will be going live with my “State of the Onion” address soon.

@MZHemingway Pull it together, Mollie.

I like how Scott Ruskan, the Coast Guard man who rescued 150 girls from the flood in Texas, is also very good looking.