Lauren

Looking the #MetGala right in the eye.

“What, do you want to tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing?”

Why am I so embarrassed to put a bandaid on like damn how dare I get a boo boo at this age

And today it ate my laptop charger. Not like a nibble — absolutely DEVOURED it

I have to hunt that little turd down every day to find how badly it did vacuuming because it got stuck and died somewhere that didn’t need vacuuming

I hate robot vacuums with such a passion.

I wish to one day be wealthy enough that looking at how much it costs to upgrade to a non-economy seat on a flight isn’t a laughing matter

@DunkinMaine I see what you’re trying to do but I am begging you to bring back the Dunkaccino.

They said it, not me

@ChappellRoan song in a Marshall’s commercial — we did it, babe! It’s giving “we’re going shopping and you can’t come”

@TheGoldenRatio4 So to recap: if the battery hadn’t been missing, you wouldn’t have found the safety pin in her tummy at all???

Final update: I found the missing battery under my backpack (where it had fallen out when Ella stole the pouch) at six this morning!

There is a battery conspicuously missing from the house. Did Ella eat it? Let's go to the vet and find out!

My father finally saw THE breaking routine. A direct quote from the whitest man on planet earth: “I gotta be honest, I thought she was INCREDIBLE. She was fresh. She was different. She was amazing. She did so well.”

Just said out loud: “I used to listen to this when I was 20” and almost vomited that it’s been 10 years since I was cool

Can’t wait till it gets colder so I can really start dressin

Has anyone checked to see if Celine is still up there I’m worried

OMG she’s doing it. They enforced the 4 gnomes per person rule but she’s making it happen.

Not me asking the ONE human I know in Australia to buy and mail me the Bluey meditation gnome.

Ran into two wonderful friends from College in the wine section at Costco… so our thirties are off to an awesome start!!!

I spent 90 minutes sitting in the sun at the beach and now I am home and one long blink away from sleeping for the next 3-4 months

The world's a magical place... 💫 #Bluey