din tuna

this is why when someone asks if they can bum a cigarette, I usually abide because who knows if they’re actually a God in disguise?

Flipping through the titles on hulu, making a point to scroll past brokeback mountain at the exact same tempo as the other films, not gayly slow or homophobicly fast

“we have food at home” ok we also have unresolved family drama at home

situationship stabbed me but the police reported it as a domestic violence incident 👀 #ouushiii #whatarewe

i often delay my responses for a few days to honor the traditional concept of postal correspondence and letters.

I think about this post literally every day

The Mayor of New York just did something none of the presidents of the United States would ever do.

Any person over 40 realizes that this is the Marlboro font. The people in charge of this are clearly under 40.

airline employees love the theater of making me put my little fanny pack in my purse then watching me take it out and put it right back on when i'm in line to board

i’ll kill the next man who wants to gets to know me and then leaves

i'm free later if you want to get married

If Nolan really does decide to make a horror film, Dante's Inferno would be a perfect story to adapt.

sometimes when you stumble through the valley of the shadow of death you temporarily find refuge in an ugly man. But you’re supposed to leave him there

you should only be allowed to post this type of shit if you’re going to break up with him

Idk what autistic girl needs to hear this but you're not in love with him. Youre just addicted to him because he made you feel so desired it gave you a safe space to be yourself. you're not in love with him you're in love with BEING YOU. You're in love with being SEEN.

I love how TSA rules are different at every airport and they look at you like you're a fucking idiot when you don't speak their regional dialect of security theater.

Wow, what a Queen.

Sorry for being such a bitch yesterday i havent had an ice cream cone in like 4 days

Mi parte favorita de la biblia es cuando Jesús, en vez de decirle a las mujeres como vestirse, le dice a los hombres que se arranquen sus ojos y corten las manos si no son capaces de controlarse