I love how TSA rules are different at every airport and they look at you like you're a fucking idiot when you don't speak their regional dialect of security theater.

@codebrewed They look at you like you’re an idiot because they’ve been yelling the same thing over and over again, and the chaos still causes people to “not hear”….. i’ve seen countless people have, “take your laptops out of your bags” yelled in their face, no language barrier. still…

@codebrewed Even better when it differs in the same line Agent 1: "Laptops OUT. Electronics OUT" Agent 2: "Hey idiot why did you take your laptop out? You fool. You clod"

@codebrewed “Sir, you need to have one shoe off, put your sock on your left hand, and tie your belt around your laptop”

@codebrewed The TSA agent you took the laptop out of your bag

@codebrewed First flight of the trip, TSA yells at me to take my medicine out. They make a huge tadoo about it needing to be in a different bin. Return trip, I go to take my medicine out, motherfucker yells "What are you doing?" "Taking my medicine out?" "Why would you do that?"

@codebrewed If you know the rules you can plan for them. Then the bad guys win.

@codebrewed And weapons/bomb success rate about 2%

@codebrewed I’ve never had that issue. What rules have differed in your experience?

@codebrewed And you have to just accept someone with a 3rd grade reading level berating you. I think it is some sort of cosmic patience test, like once you've mastered the dmv, you level up to this😅

Suggestion: entitled members of the traveling public need to pause and take a breath as TSA screeners are trying to keep us safe working in stressful environments. Some travelers fear flying and take out their anxieties on TSA staff. Not helpful! Also, about 20 U.S. airports, such as San Francisco, use private sector screeners. These are not TSA staff so don’t confuse them with TSA staff. @TSA @flySFO @DHSgov

@codebrewed There are like 2.1 rules. Chill and learn how to travel.

Yes. Every time I go to an airport and take off my shoes they’re like “you don’t need to do that” and then when I leave them on they’re like “you’re supposed to take your shoes off, can’t you read the sign?”. The signs are the same at every airport. The policies aren’t. Isn’t this a federal government organization? Why is it not the same across the entire country? Like, I want to just keep my shoes on, but I’d rather just know I’m doing it right, even if that’s taking them off.

@codebrewed I’ve literally been yelled at for taking off my shoes and not taking off my shoes on the same day.

@codebrewed TSA let me fly to Vegas with a drivers license that had expired the month prior, but Vegas TSA nearly wouldn't let me return. Blank stare when I asked him how TSA let me get on the 1st flight.

@codebrewed I’ve carried the same small tool kit for 10 years in my carry on - I got stopped in Destin Florida last year over a pair of slip joint plyers

@codebrewed in rome, basically

@codebrewed I asked the TSA agent in San Diego if I need to take my shoes off and she asked me if I was retarded

@codebrewed In South, clearing security at 6:30 am. Up and working since 3:30am. Exhausted and just wanting to go home. Everyone going thru the metal detector, but nope, I have to go thru the big machine. I opt out of. So, they get all "have a better day" on me because I was not cheerful.

@codebrewed “I said all electronics LARGER than cell phones in the bin. So why isn’t your cell phone in the bin??”

@codebrewed OMG, I feel seen now. I’m glad I’m not the only one that notices this.

@codebrewed "Left shoe on, right shoe off! All electronics in the trash, except for your laptop which you need to eat piece by piece! All liquids must be crystallized! How many times do we have to tell you?? This isn't that hard, people!"

@codebrewed Flew from FL to Utah. Told TSA I have a hip replacement. Go through metal detector & waved through. Fly from Utah to FL. Tell them I have a hip replacement. Go through metal detector and get an invasive pat down. Why can’t it be the same?

@codebrewed Traveling twice a month for work for 6 months radicalized me against the TSA. It’s worse than regional, it’s individuals. They just make up whatever rules they want while they are on the clock.

@codebrewed @TSA can’t put up signs but they can pay someone $90 per hour to yell at people about laptops @TSA doesn’t publish clear guidelines on what isn’t allowed, but will make fun of you on Twitter if you get it wrong - like the fire hydrant parts guy last week

@codebrewed Shoes on! Belt off! Jacket on the belt! Hurry Up!

@codebrewed Such as? Seems pretty consistent - show your ID and get scanned, put bags on X-ray belt, walk through metal detector, pick up your bags off belt and leave. Not much difference between airports.

@codebrewed Can confirm 🫠

@codebrewed This is so true. Long before the shoe rule was rescinded, I was flying out of Hawaii and got yelled at FOR TAKING MY SHOES OFF. I replied that it was required at every other US airport I had been to at the time and the TSA woman said “no it’s not” like I was the idiot.

@codebrewed Wait until you fly through Amsterdam.

@codebrewed Its the training. Make strong unpredictable assertions to make the process and control seem scary and authentic. I don't know that it is effective at actually preventing crime but it sells the idea that DHS is doing something.

I had an ounce or two of water left in me steel water bottle once. They told me I had to pour it out because it could be liquid explosive or a chemical weapon. They had me pour it out into a trash can between the X-ray machine and the line. Guess y’all aren’t THAT worried about explosives or chemical weapons… Performative theater.

@codebrewed Defund TSA. Every airport should have their own security. Then each airline can compete, fastest security, least hassle if you want to opt of the scanners, etc TSA is where the smart thieves work because they can steal your shit and theyre protected by the government.

@codebrewed @Gruntpa Hat on, hat off. Coat on, coat off. Computer out separate bin, leave it in the bag. Just a fucking Simon Says game

@codebrewed dept of motor vehicles vibe

@codebrewed Yep flew between NY and Seattle. On flight there I was told I shouldn’t take an iPad out of the bag as it’s not a laptop. On flight back they screamed at me like why didn’t I take it out as it’s exactly the same like a laptop.

@codebrewed A little surprised that people still haven't realized that this is by design.