uncle esq

someone said that cranberry juice tastes like it doesn't want to be wet & i can't stop thinking about it

People in New York are like my lease ends in three days so I’m gonna go look at an apartment tomorrow

I love saying “sounds good” at work and dont shit sound good

In a meeting at the office one time, this dude fully repeated something I had said almost word for word, just slightly changed. After he finished, my coworker raised her hand and said, “I don’t have anything to add, but I just wanted to point out he basically repeated exactly what Natalie said like it was his own idea.” Happy Women’s History Month to her.

is he fun to be around or am i fun and he’s around

@smellyestanne I’m cracking upppp

Saw a Sephora for the first time in the shopping center I care most about 🥹 started like kinda opera singing

highkey makes no sense that mel has a deposition at 3pm on saturday 4th july 2026

I am not going to be a cocomelon parent. You will sit your ass down and watch aljazeera

your secret is safe with me unless it’s funny

It's more important than ever that we all keep saying Yay

I’d really like to see a journalist just flat out ask Trump “what the fuck is wrong with you” at some point even if it doesn’t move the needle in any concrete way.

a great tip if you’re packing for a trip is to ignore all the clothes you feel comfortable in and wear on a regular basis and instead bring a long velvet skirt you’ve never worn before that’s slightly too small and doesn’t go with any of your shirts or shoes

when you're talking to someone and you can tell they're trying out a new word

Coffee shops that open at 8am on work days

For the first time in my life people are younger than me

Celebrating Halloween right in front of me when my black cat is dead is completely insensitive to my traumas put your costume away

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic