Chris MSN APRN FNP LOL 🐀

*me trying to flirt* How's it going? R u in any pain? Shortness of breath? Recent nausea/vomiting/diarrhea? On any meds I should know about?

I would like a Netflix documentary on how doctors like Oz or that meat doctor who wants babies to eat raw milk and honey become who they are. Take us from day 1 of med school. They need to be studied.

Running Medicare and Medicaid for over 100 million Americans isn't like hosting a daytime talk show. Dr. Oz is another rich guy who doesn't care if your health care costs go up or an insurance company denies you coverage. These decisions have life and death consequences.

1. Don’t smoke 2. Wear sunglasses 3. Don’t sleep in your contacts 4. Wear safety glasses 5. Don’t use Vis*ne

@DrPayItBack University President?

What’s a job where you make a million a year that’s actually worth it. I don’t think any TBH

@JohnLeFevre What’s wrong with a Windsor tie knot?

Here are 40 things a man should never wear: 1. Flips flops unless you’re near a pool or beach. 2. Flamboyant pocket squares. All it says is you pay $1,200 a month for a car you can’t afford. 3. Statement socks. They don’t give you personality or style. 4. Cargo shorts. 5. Turtlenecks. Circumcise that sweater. 6. The guilt of your ancestors’ sins. 7. A pro sports jersey with another man’s name on the back of it. 8. Facial hair that doesn’t look intentional. 9. Jewelry (other than watches and wedding rings). The only thing more disappointing for a woman than seeing a desirable man with a wedding band on, is seeing a ring on any other finger. 10. Backwards or flat brim baseball caps. Or any hat inside. 11. Pleated or cuffed pants. 12. Sneakers with a suit. It’s a good look for 1% of men, but you’re not David Beckham. 13. Fashion watches - Chanel, Hermes, Gucci, and even Cartier. 14. Hoodies after the age of 40, unless the weather requires it. 15. Double-breasted suits. The vast majority of men can’t pull it off. 16. Any shorts longer than the knees. 17. Skinny or ripped jeans. 18. Vineyard Vines. 19. Country club logo golf shirts where you’re not a member. I don’t care if you played Pebble once, it’s a conversation-starter for losers. 20. Short-sleeve button-down shirts. 21. Identifiably-designer belts. 22. Dirty sneakers in the office. Even with a relaxed dress code, you should take care of sneakers in the same manner as dress shoes. 23. Oxford collars. 24. A backpack. 25. Tevas, Crocs, Birkenstocks, or Uggs. 26. Bowties without a tuxedo. 27. Monk straps, tassels, or square-toed shoes. 28. Deep V-neck t-shirts. 29. A fake watch. 30. Dress shirts with a pocket. 31. Baggy clothes. Get the essentials, even jeans, tailored. 32. Anything with big logos. 33. Your heart on your sleeve. 34. Sports sunglasses. Quality shades serve an important function; they let women know you appreciate nice things and are responsible enough not to lose them. 35. Noticeable cologne. Men generally have a weak sense of smell and get desensitized to their own scent, so it’s worse than you realize. 36. Graphic t-shirts. 37. Pajama pants in public. 38. Windsor tie knots. 39. A “going out” shirt. 40. Women’s clothing.

My company hired a chiropractor, and I’m not happy about it.

@AdultingIsEasy $4k

My first car was $9,000 What about you?

Using a GIF, what was your first job?

From now on, breakfast and lunch will be free for every public school student in Massachusetts. That means no more paperwork for teachers. No more pressure on families. No more kids going hungry in class ever again.

@fuzzymittens If you’re doing the procedure, you need to get the consent.

I wrote my first prescription for vaginal estrogen today. Trying to make @AshleyGWinter proud 🥹

that's a FISH #SharkWeek

Gob less ‘murica 🇺🇸

A celebration of our oceans’ apex predators. #SharkWeek hosted by Jason Momoa coming this July to @Discovery.

@localav0cado Ayyy you’re an ER nurse now! You did it! I must have missed when that happened. Congrats! 🍾

got my ED nurse certification aka getting the quickest IV access of all attempts mid-code

Please settle an argument and tell me this is easily identifiable

@LiangRhea 😮

Just a reminder that 'private' messages don't make this OK. Ever. Anywhere. Why is this still a regular occurrence for women on social media? 🤨

@somemoonslut Is this still available?

I’m obsessed with this Facebook marketplace post

I am devastated by the shooting in Colorado Springs. My heart goes out to all the families and loved ones of those lost and hurt. Hateful acts against LGBTQ+ people cannot and will not be tolerated.

@HalfTornad0 @thepointsguy @stoolpresidente He literally said “I’m never gonna use these points. They’re going to die with me.” So why not put their value to use instead of let Amex keep it… nothing out of portnoy’s pocket.

@vibeyRN @thepointsguy @stoolpresidente Stop telling fortunate people that they need to share their wealth. He earned it.

I love my Amex points so much