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🫡

if i were a haunted doll in the trinket section of a thrift store would you take me home

and she wants a black bean Crunchwrap and a spicy potato taco

he didn’t like smells, and i was fucking farting

me and the divas at olive garden

NICO ROBIN IS BEST GIRL

@nothasanabi please put it back

i shaved my mustache. i’m sorry to everyone i hurt w this decision. 😔

I will never understand why choosing a career means someone knows what they’re doing with their life. What about the rest of your life?

Mothman is real and has an ass that won't quit

I don’t think I’ll ever stop being obsessed with @JordanPeele and his work. The only time I pay to watch movies anymore, and Nope was absolutely worth it.

everybody has an uncle mike

Nobody deserve to fall asleep at night wondering why they weren't enough

This summer wasn’t very Slide by Calvin Harris (feat. Frank Ocean and Migos) if you ask me

me: the pirate i kicked in the crotch:

Stay sweet when the world is sour 🍰

no one: me tryna vent: idk it’s just idk dude idk

I need @Toyota to bring back #masqueunauto so I can name my new car lol

@NikkiD1016 Pretty solid tradition if you ask me lol. I’ll need to make a crying birthday playlist for next year 😂

@whickedchild That’s what’s up 🤣🤣 I used to cry on my bday religiously. It was basically a tradition 😂

Nothing like being forgotten on your birthday 🎉