Matt Forney@mattforney
Just watched CITIZEN VIGILANTE. This movie is complete trash and I won't be peer pressured by dumbshit influencers into praising it because "ZOMG IT'S ABOUT MASS IMMIGRATION!" *soyface*. Unironic example of where woke is more correct because this movie fails at almost every level.
The good (what little there is):
- Decent cinematography. Uwe Boll has improved in SOMETHING, at least. Nice wide angle shots, decent cuts (aside from the action scenes where it seems like they always switch angles a half-second before they should). Weird, inconsistent color grading; several of the scenes have this oversaturated green tint that make it look like a retarded version of THE MATRIX (example below).
- Decent acting, amazing when you consider the horrible screenplay. Armie Hammer gives the awful dialogue his all, which is the only thing that saves his performance from being a career ender.
The bad:
- Boll cannot write. At all. He makes George Lucas look like Paddy Chayefsky. Even calling the "dialogue" by that name is generous. It's monologuing. All of it. In every conversation Armie Hammer's character (don't remember his name) has, the person he's talking to assumes the role of the idiot in a Socratic dialogue. he lectures yoofs on why they shouldn't jump turnstiles, breaks away from fucking a hooker to complain about black mold on the walls (no really this happens), and at one point delivers an entire John Galt speech to a dude who's half-unconscious from a scopolamine injection. At the end of the movie, he calls the cop who's been hunting him and rants about "Islamic extremists" and the "woke left." Actually, this movie could be described as what might have happened had Ayn Rand read SIEGE. Boll has no theory of mind for libtards and Muslims and thus writes every antagonist character with zero nuance. Muslims are like, "Hehehe white bitches wear miniskirts, of COURSE they deserve rape!" This isn't good enough for a movie (particularly when Boll handles everything with the subtlety of the Tsar Bomba).
- Uwe Boll-isms that could have been removed if he was less of an arrogant halfwit convinced of his own genius. At the beginning of the movie, we're treated to a lovely panning shot of Zagreb before "EUROPE" appears in giant blocky letters, because Boll assumes the viewer is an idiot. There are multiple Croatian-language signs in the background. I KNOW this is Europe. Even if you've never been to Europe, you can tell by the signs that this is some Slavic country. Midway through, SWAT officers storm Armie Hammer's hideout and are confronted by a steel bunker with guns poking out. Do they take cover, throw a grenade, or perhaps drop a bomb on the building like the Philly PD did to MOVE? No, they try to SHOOT THROUGH THE STEEL and get gunned down like monsters in DOOM.
- There's no real plot. It's just Armie Hammer going around town killing nons, cops, and judges. There are what appear to be flash-forwards throughout the movie where Hammer is talking about his life as if he's in police custody, but the movie just ends with him metaphorically riding off into the sunset with no victory, no defeat, no consequences for his actions. There's no rising action, falling action, no climax; you know, the fundamentals of storytelling? There's no character arcs. Nothing substantially changes aside from people dying.
- Armie Hammer's character is an antisocial psychopath. There's no apparent motivation for him to be a vigilante, no tragedy in his past, no virtue or dysfunction driving his actions. He just appears to be a Patrick Bateman-like rich kid who kills people out of boredom when he's not collecting rent from his private equity landlord firm (which he inherited from his dad and doesn't know how to run). At one point, he deliberately causes an innocent person to crash their car by driving on the wrong side of the road just to prove that people are "sheep." He holds the family of a Muslim gang rapist hostage before executing them, but we're not shown the gang rape until midway through, so we have no emotional buildup to why this family deserves to die. If a character like this existed IRL, I'd be rooting for the cops to put one in his skull. I certainly wouldn't TRUST the little creep.
- Terrible special effects. I challenge you not to chuckle a little bit at the horrible compositing when the woman gets stabbed in the neck by a migrant at the beginning. It's been 20 years, Uwe. You should have figured this out by now.
CITIZEN VIGILANTE is pornography, and I'm not just referring to the sex scene. It exists solely for the gratification of right-wingers and has no other artistic merit. You watch it, you jerk off to migrants and libtards getting killed, you toss the Kleenex in the trashcan and move on with your day. It's no different than libtard fantasy movies like GOD BLESS AMERICA (a similar movie about killing Christians and Fox News hosts) or CUCK (a retarded and gross JOKER ripoff about how all "far-right" "incels" are murderous creeps). I don't like porn, and that includes the ideological variety.
Throw this movie in the garbage along with Uwe Boll's career (where it should have stayed).
