JB

@EmanonEdits @BFirstParty @ukhomeoffice I thought you were talking about Farage at first

This is the illegal immigrant who threatened Nigel Farage. These are the miscreants we are allowing into our country! 😤

@1swancelona @ShepherdWales @toryboypierce @RhysWilliamsTV The issue is that a man who claims to be a journalist may be lying. And even more worrying is the fact that you seem to be ok with that

@ShepherdWales @toryboypierce Unless the real answer is 0% then who gives a toss what he's quoting? It is absolutely a real issue. Check @RhysWilliamsTV timeline.

20 % of children in Wales can't read or write when they start secondary school. What a shocking indictment of 20 years of Welsh Labour government

@RyanBarby @CoherentMoney @fesshole Get off twitter and go and have some fun!

@whitmorejon991 @CoherentMoney @fesshole Mate I’m on holiday trying to enjoy myself stop killing the mood

Won around £24,800 on a footy bet a few months back, told my wife it was actually a half share of just over £12k with a pal - my share amounting to £6200. OK she said, you can have the £3200 and I'll have the £3k to go shopping with. Result.

@aquitainexox But we never hear about the recovery of crime victims. The story wasn’t shut down

Has anyone heard anything about Lieutenant Colonel Mark Teeton who was stabbed back in July? Not a thing has appeared, it’s like this story was shut down overnight, nothing at all about his recovery!

@CoherentMoney @RyanBarby @fesshole 2 so far. I think I just married people who don’t respect me. Or maybe I’m the problem

@whitmorejon991 @RyanBarby @fesshole Oh dear. How many divorces have you had, if you don't mind me asking? I would also be interested to know what went wrong. That's all very personal though, so maybe you don't want to share - which is fine too. 👍

@Carol_oceanmtns @fesshole They have probably become accustomed to it by now so it’s all good

@fesshole Sorry, you have just become accustomed to the stink and stale odor. I feel sorry for your work mates and family.

I've been wearing the same jeans for 2 months now. A bit of Febreze and they're fine.

@fesshole And? Come back to us when you’ve been wearing them for 2 years

@MatrixGlitch1 @JohnieClayton_ Intentionally driving in an extremely dangerous manner. Driving recklessly is not an accident

@JohnieClayton_ Avoidable accident vs intentional stabbing is the most diabolical comparison a thick anti-car person could make. All the other thicko's piping up with their car violence/weapon rhetoric is plain laughable and pathetic

An 18-year-old girl, a pedestrian, was killed outside my flat today by a speeding driver. If she had been stabbed by someone of colour, it would be all over the news, but instead, the media only reports traffic disruption. #UKCarCulture

@fesshole You lost your dignity when you decided to tear open the pork pies before you even made it to the car. From that moment on it doesn’t matter what you do. And yes, I often buy myself a pork pie to have in the car after I’ve been shopping

Bought a twin pack of pork pies on the way out of Tesco today. Opened them on the way to my car and the pack split and they both went over the cold, wet, dirty ground. Pretended to be annoyed and picked them up to "throw them away." Got out the car park and ate them anyway.

@DiabolicalSpuds 25 accents and they still can’t manage one as silly as Alabama

Fucking 25 accents for a place the size of Alabama. And half of them are so silly they clearly are past their usefulness

Why the fuck do the English have like 25 different accents when all their major population areas are like a 15 minutes drive from each other .

@SimonShanley @UKRoadKing @anon_opin Legend

@whitmorejon991 @UKRoadKing @anon_opin My mate used to buy two pints at a time, he drank one whilst the 2nd was being poured. A pint was about 5 swigs.

250ml is the perfect size for a bottle of beer to have of an evening. You can have one or two and leave it at that. 330ml, you end up not finishing one or, drinking all 6 and wondering if you can go to a club on a Tuesday. At 42.

@anon_opin But it’s not only fools and horses is it? They wouldn’t be allowed to make that now. That’s proper comedy because it was funny

Joyless bores who claim "TV comedy is dead" clearly can't have seen Detectorists, People Just Do Nothing, Stath Lets Flats, Derry Girls, This Country, Ghosts or Things You Should Have Done.

@ChaponaBike123 @GarySmithJnr He won’t get 3 points for the hazards. What planet are you on?

@GarySmithJnr I didn’t spot the hazards! That’s another 3 points. Thanks for pointing it out and well spotted. I’ll add it to the report. :)

"Nah. It's only a cyclist coming, I'll be fine pulling out." Bye bye PHV license.

@anon_opin Or just eat faster

You're only supposed to toast one slice of bread at a time. Otherwise, by the time you've finished eating the first slice of toast the second is cold.

@CoherentMoney @RyanBarby @fesshole You’re right. But with my track record I’m not the person to ask

@whitmorejon991 @RyanBarby @fesshole That's sad. How do we fix this? Maybe people rush into marriages too fast? 🤔 Trying to work out what the lesson is here.

@CoherentMoney @RyanBarby @fesshole 42% of marriages end in divorce. And I’m sure more than 8% stay in bad marriages

@whitmorejon991 @RyanBarby @fesshole If that's a genuine comment, you need new friends who are happier in their marriages!

@AltAlt61632701 @fesshole I’m starting to think that…

@GlasgowGiant @anon_opin Not that hard. I’ve managed it twice

I don't care if your great grandparents were apparently from Scotland. Wearing a kilt to weddings and other formal occasions is just attention seeking.

@anon_opin He should have given him a Pascal second chance

Homer's half brother, Herb, was entirely responsible for his business failing. He was clearly having a massive breakdown when he let Homer design a car, then was a viscous cunt in disowning him when it went tits up.