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@RussellHobbsUK Bought a nice new kettle a few days ago. Today it decided to pour boiling water all over my kitchen counter ruining a few things in the process.

At least bring the jackhammer next time… goo.gl/fb/WJAgZR

At least bring the jackhammer next time… wheelturninghamsterdead.wordpress.com/2020/07/22/at-…

I've eaten so much tuna in lockdown that I could replace aqua man. You know...if aqua man needs to be an overweight mid 40s balding guy who hasn't been swimming in years.

That satisfying feeling when "meeting rescheduled to another day" appears in your mailbox and you get an easier afternoon of not having to pretend you're listening on a Zoom meeting.

Haven't worn my fitbit for 3 days... yet it thinks I slept for 6 hours 3 minutes lay night and woke up 5 times. I need to ask the ghost to start going out for walks for me too.

Hold my cosmopolitan and baby wipes goo.gl/fb/LHzuji

Hold my cosmopolitan and baby wipes wheelturninghamsterdead.wordpress.com/2020/07/07/hol…

I got my arse handed to me by a 5 year old at Mario Kart. On multiple ocassions. 2020 is just a messed up year.

At the risk of being hated...over the last 2 nights I watched all 3 Lords of the Rings films....and wasn't that bothered at all. Yes I'm single and you can ask me out on a date.

That weird feeling of being super productive with work shizzle because the game you play on you phone is currently down.

At the risk of complaining at the heat... can @sure make something stronger. My body + your product + this heat...it ain't happening. I sprayed it it on. My body said "try harder" and I'm a sweaty mess. 48h dry? Does the h stand for milliseconds?

@vickiGPN If it helps, I sprayed my deodorant and as it came out, it laughed and landed on the floor and slid away like something from a horror movie.

After Eight chocolates are the devils work. Kudos Mr Devil...you got this one completely right.

I'm craving banana milkshake. Which is weird as I've not had it for about 30 years. And I'm quietly confident I'm not pregnant

Working from home has confirmed my previous thoughts that I am by far my best co-worker.

@antbliss That's a very good point. Never listen to painfully bad music near popular suicide venues.

@wthd But you would have made it to beachy head 🤷🏻‍♂️

It's amazing how much further you can walk listening to a Slipknot playlist vs a Coldplay playlist. If it had been Coldplay I'd have walked about 100 metres and would have then needed to buy a new phone and earphones.

The Tale of the Magical Washing Machine goo.gl/fb/sWrioo

The Tale of the Magical Washing Machine wheelturninghamsterdead.wordpress.com/2020/06/20/the…