John Morris Ross IV

The best thing about having a heroin-addict die in your family, is that you don't have to eat you cereal with a fork anymore. #OldJoke

@bryanyang @ronnychieng I vocalized the same observation to my GF yesterday, but didn’t post it... Because I’m not a fucking racist! :)

Farts are just your butt’s way of telling jokes.

CBD: The Devil’s Kale

BlueChews, but for my resolve against Stockholm syndrome.

@thisjohnalston @bryanyang Alston has to shit whenever he doesn’t get invited to weddings.

@bryanyang It was fine until @xjohnrossx and Josh Vigil popped up. Then I had to run to the bathroom.

@bryanyang Love you guys! Thanks for letting me be a part of it.

If you forcibly shout “Merry Christmas!” out of spite towards others for saying “Happy Holidays,” you’re saying the Lord’s name in vain, placing you in direct violation of the Ten Commandments. #happyholidays2020

Anyone else trust turkeys a little less now that Trump pardoned one?

America’s like, “Listen, be corrupt, just don’t be a racist dick about it.” #Election2020

@thisjohnalston Inspiring, truly.

Life has its failures. Try to minimize those caused by self sabotage. If that doesn't work, blame others.

Anyone else think @PlatinumPerry is moving a little too fast with his new relationship? Just me? Ok. #mma #SoapOperaForMen #ImRightTho #ufc #JoeRogan

The only food safe enough to eat immediately after scratching your balls is dill pickles.

Barbie seems like the kind of girl who would match with you on Tinder, just so you’d follow her Instagram.

#MikePence has potato salad for brains? #vpdebatetakes #pencefly

Dear President Trump, just tell cops that Covid-19 is an unarmed black teen and they’ll shoot it out of you. #donaldtrumphasCOVID

Biggest. Funeral. Ever.

Listen, it’s sad when anybody dies. It’s just that if he dies, I’d be less sad than I would be if anybody else died. #donaldtrumphasCOVID

Four more months! Four more months! Four more months!

@JoeBiden I feel like his Covid response was positive.

Donald Trump will do everything he can to distract from the fact that because of his failed COVID-19 response: - Over 200,000 Americans have died - 26 million are on unemployment - 1 in 6 small businesses risk permanent closure We can’t let him.