Dave Edwards (parody)

@elwisty01 @carolinepennock A private bank could in theory stop providing services to any right- (or left-)leaning individual. But that would just open the market for a bank that does the opposite. Farage can still obtain banking services elsewhere so is this really worth all the hand-wringing?

@elwisty01 @carolinepennock Look up "slippery slope fallacy". You are extrapolating from one example that this will become a common occurrence, whereas in fact it's one private bank declining to provide services to one person, as is their right (discrimination law notwithstanding but apparently N/A here).

Well, if Dan Wootton and Jim Davidson say it's wrong, then who are we to argue with such morally unimpeachable banking experts?

@ManUtd @LukeShaw23 Happy birthday to us 😁🎉

Happy birthday to you, @LukeShaw23! 🫶 #MUFC

@marcolonghi4dn Narrator: He didn't care.

Early days in 2020, just elected. Ill like I’d never felt before, almost certainly Covid - nobody knew then. Boris came and sat next to me in the Tea Room and was as kind to me as a family member might have been. Such a sad day today. I know he cared.

@Conservatives I remembered my ID. Forgot to vote Conservative though, sorry*. * (not sorry)

🗳️ Polls open until 10pm. 🪪 Remember to bring your photo ID and vote Conservative!

The alarm I set to remind me about the #emergencyalert was louder than the actual thing...

And a shoutout to @lamaisondusteak for delicious pre-gig sustenance...

Brilliant night at @CambJunction watching my favourite band @turinbrakes with my favourite person @thesofiedwards.

For anyone with broken @HiveHomeUK app, if you connect Google Assistant to your Hive account you can then use Google Home to control your devices. Not ideal but works as a stopgap.

@adavfc1874 @HiveHomeUK If you link Google Assistant to your Hive account, you can use Google Home to control your devices. This is still working even though the Hive app is broken.

@HiveHomeUK Hive app was up an running but has now gone again for me anyway. Seriously, what the hell is going on? 🤡

If you have Hive TRVs and have enabled child lock in the app popping the batteries out and back in to the TRV will disable it. You can enable it again when the app issue is fixed. bddy.me/3Jb2icX Kind regards Hive Team

@Fiq8N I mean, how _dare_ the poors want an ounce of joy in their lives?

@EssexWomble @BBCPolitics My mum phoned her GP after waking with blurred double vision. Pharmacy called back, dx labyrinthitis. She'd had a stroke. Very lucky for all concerned that the outcome wasn't worse.

@BBCPolitics Only problem here is that pharmacists aren't trained doctors. The risk of misdiagnosis is real.

“What’s your beef with GPs?” asks #BBCLauraK Shadow Health Secretary Wes Streeting says he doesn’t have a problem with GPs but that the system needs reformed and pharmacies should do more bbc.in/3inz2Vi

Poor decision @netflix. It's becoming almost impossible to invest time and energy in series on this platform given how likely they are to be cancelled prematurely.

@doeringer55 @NickiFarnes @simonharris_mbd Because it _can_ be a good thing. You've just been programmed to believe otherwise. Get to know some autistic people and look at their strengths, not their weaknesses.

@mightyredbear79 @JuliaHB1 She _is_ a role model. For shitty people. It's her thing, and she will continue to behave that way as long as it gets her attention. She'll be loving the attention she's getting for this one.

@JuliaHB1 You mentioned her autism in a derogatory way. You removed it because you knew what you said was wrong and tone deaf. My son is autistic. How do you think he would feel if he read your tweet? You work in media, you’re supposed to be a role model.

I'd choose Andrew Tate's life *every single time* over the life of a half-educated, doom-mongering eco-cultist. And the only car I own is a diesel Tiguan. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 1/2

@JuliaHB1 You used it in the middle of a list of slurs, and you clearly intended it as one. I hope that life kicks you repeatedly in the proverbial balls for this.

I've deleted my previous tweet that mentioned Greta's autism because - although I only referred to it because she states it in her own Twitter biog - people decided to take offence at a fact. Even though they had no problem with this woman calling a man "small dick". Yawn. 2/2

The @DHLParcelUK customer service is criminally bad. *Do not* use this company unless you enjoy being frustrated. Even their chatbots don't reply. Their phone robot gets confused if your parcel is lost and there is no option to speak to a human.

@DHLParcelUK My parents sent two parcels containing Christmas presents for our kids as part of the same shipment. The first parcel arrived yesterday but the second still shows as in the depot. Can I please speak to someone to find out when the second parcel will be delivered?

@RegVarney I don't have a blue tick, so I'm clearly a fake

@xyphic How do I know this is the real you?

Wondering if there's space for any tweets between these adverts. Twitter takeover clearly going swimmingly.