Thanos

Tales of a Chronic Gooner I used to be a chronic gooner, not just a causal “Scroll before bed” guy. I mean a strategic gooner. I would mark days on the calendar like I was training for olympics, going on 3 week celibacy streak just to build up the “material” and then setting aside an entire weekend just to shoot up my room with ropes. I’d have snacks, water, a dark room, and honestly I’d even burn incense or scented candles to make my degeneracy aromatherapeutic The intensity was something else, So naturally I wanted it take it to the next level and I introduced breath play. Right at the climax I’d hold my breath for at least 10 seconds. Let me tell you the orgasms were so insanely intense that I briefly saw my ancestors. One time I booked a suite at the Sarova Stanley alone just to goon in style. But there was a downside, I genuinely felt like I didn’t need a woman at all anymore, I had become this terrifying self-sufficient nuclear reactor running on its own waste. Thank God I eventually freed myself from those shackles. And now that I’m broke, I look back at that Sarova booking & feel very stupid. Anyone else who has been in such a dark place before?

@Weyne_west We always do ,

Tweeps Normalize kuengage Mutuals wako, You cannot grow Alone. You are not a Celebrity.

@polo_kimanii Umejaribu kuwaambia, ulianza kuoga ??

12 years here and I have not managed to sleep with even one woman from this app. Yani nikama kurogwo bwana. The last time I tried to convince a certain lightskin skinny kamba damsel from here to come to kasarani I cook minji for her,she anikad my screenshots here like industrial maize even without hiding my username. Sahii nikijaribu najua bloggers watapepeta mpaka kule facebook ifikie bibi akiamungu. Nataka sasa nikimaliza kujenga,nipeleke bibi huko kijabe alishange tukuku yake. Na mimi naye nifungue account ingine na sitaweka jina yangu,niweke kama richard,richiee. Hapo sasa ni kurusha 30 Inboxes per day. Apo nanasa kama wanne ama tatu. Body count nakwambia kabla nikufe itakua imeruka kutoka mbili, ikafika mia nane kama solomon. Muendelee kununua CCTV nimalize iyo nyumba wazee. Apa mbele mambo inaenda kuchemka. Dj chesa Shark attack by wailing souls na usiweke chiki chiki

@onjolo_kenya Letu jicho Tu !!!

In 1994 Moi faced a by-election in Kipipiri~ Nyandarua. He ordered KPLC to plant electricity poles all over the constituency. DP won by a landslide. In shameMoi uprooted all his electricity poles. The following morning Taifa Leo had the best headline: KANU YAONJA PILIPILI KIPIPIRI , will Kasongo go for his purple Meko gas cylinders in Ol Kalou subject to watch.

@SomoinaKapeen Portugal

Uko team Portugal ama Spain?

@pendingtycoon Utalia Sana mamae

Spain 🇪🇸 Kichwa ✅.... Your GOAT 🐐 aende home 🌚😂

@newto_code_14 Alipata patient WA diabetes akiwa na Del Monte na bread , fully enjoy himself 🤣🤣🤣😭

"eti patients wamekufanya nini mamaa"

It says football isn't just a sport anymore , it's an export. Europe built a global football product, while African football has largely remained local despite producing some of the world's greatest talent. Millions of Africans know every detail about European clubs, yet many Europeans have never seen 90 minutes of an African league match. That's less about passion and more about who controls the cameras, the money, and the narrative.

It's fascinating how an African can passionately support a club thousands of miles away, yet many Europeans have never watched a full African league match.What does that say about the global football landscape?

@MusaGVNG Build a brand Musa , a few days having a few impressions should not make you doubt your content . If you believe it is quality enough , keep going , you will find your group , and impressions will not matter anymore We will fvck around till we get it right

Kitu inanibamba ni Ati whoever’s following is doing so because they like what I do not because I asked them to. And those that have stayed is because I have something they like. Nimewekelea kazi. Impressions zitakuja Hata kama ni next year. I’m here to build a brand. Stay and watch me build…..

In today's world ,marriage is not the kind of thing , in a social person , you would want to bring in the spotlight . People will mount pressure on you , and if you don't tread carefully the marriage is bound to fail . Family and marriage should be protected from the public eye , if you wish to keep it intact

You mean that after all those years in the entertainment industry, this guy has never attended a single event with his wife?

@chumamasterske Nawaombea note mfike hapo

NOTHING BEATS CONSISTENCY.

@tbagcity 🤣🤣🤣 you covered every area there is to be covered

This is how I wrapped up my Pregnant woman assesment today.

@onjolo_kenya Portugal wanabeba hii

Wawekezaji predictions here …

@Shaxxy271513 Hii bado kuanguka 🤣🤣🤣😭

Na hivyo ndio kijana yenu amelala njaa, loyal fans weleni kakitu

@Rutojames7113 Namna gani huku 🤣🤣😭

Hello Predator Energy, It has come to our attention that our boy from Kenya, your brand ambassador who has been touring and watching Premier League matches promoting your energy drink, has developed a noticeable belly and, as the Kalenjin elders would jokingly say, “a little extra up top.” As Kalenjin men, we are not used to seeing one of our own looking like this. What risk management measures do you have in place for your brand ambassadors? Does your policy include coverage for an expanding waistline? We ask this in good humor and out of concern for our brother. Kindly reassure us that he’s still in good shape, and if not, perhaps sponsor him a gym membership alongside the energy drinks! Yours sincerely, Concerned Kalenjin Men of Kenya 😂

@onjolo_kenya 🤣🤣

Nimekaa hivi nikumbuka first year Shrodiger wave equation what was that even 😳

@mwizikhafila Wengi hawaezi amini hii

kukuwa na mumama is ten times better than being employed

@_KithureKindiki And where are you in all this . Ama pia wewe unangoja sympathy votes zikuokoe??

It is now clear, an incompetent man is an arrogant man.

Niliwaambia mniguzie mkasema nilipe badge,,sasa hamguzi tena mtasema Nini ???💀😂

@mutugiericw FB sasa

@__mtskid ni ni hizi sasa

Hey Nikita ,put X down for a while and save my battery. Kindly 😒