Primordial Zoomer

The wiggerette bartender told me “you’re welcome boo”

@forstmeier I have destroyed and betrayed myself for 3 likes

Sometimes you gotta let a joypilled brother blast his bliss-seed into your cantankerous cussy

How it felt to be a robber baron bankrolling the Ladies Association for the Benefit of Gentlewomen of Good Family, Reduced in Fortune Below the State of Comfort to Which They Have Been Accustomed

Older guys in the trades love to say with great self-satisfaction “yeah, when you’ve been doing this for long enough, you learn a thing or two” and the “thing” in question will be so obvious a mildly intelligent toddler would know intuitively how to do it

Me: (holding up a partially peeled hard boiled egg) “but officer, I wasn’t texting, look!” Officer: license and registration please Me: (opens glove box, dozens of eggs tumble onto floor) Officer: step out of the vehicle

“No, no, that wouldn’t be tactful,” the humongous pussy thought to himself as he refrained from doing something he would never bother attempting in a more tactful manner

@vocalcry People used to have the courage of their poor taste but now we live in a pandemic of aesthetic cowardice

Everyone hates millennial gray but we have to remember why we got it in the first place

Sometimes vices butt heads productively, like when pride prevents me from succumbing to alcoholism

The man made pond beaches of suburban Massachusetts are a case study in why it’s good for humanity to impose its will on nature

Tragic that none of the nicest trucks on the market today have a front bench seat, only cheaper trims do. Is being rich *and* horny illegal? Why must we choose between luxury and intimacy?

Suburban poster who deletes his account but within days starts walking up to the freshly mown lawns of other neighborhood dads saying “I love it when the grass gets a little overgrown like this”

@xwanyex The guys I work with subsist entirely on fast food and cigarettes when they should be eating like Erling Haaland

It’s absolutely true that working in the trades can destroy your body and some of it is unavoidable, but you also have to remember that a lot of these guys are degenerate idiots who don’t do anything to take care of their bodies or avoid repetitive stress injuries. As with everything else, you don’t have to assume that you’re going to get the average, bad outcome.

The beauty of male friendship

One day my wife will have to explain to our grandchildren that when tiktok attained total cultural hegemony I was summarily executed by the brainrot godking for being an unrepentant mid-sentence stop-and-muller

@jjabbott @Philadeliberty @PhillyJoeD Give me the steel man. Why is it better

@Philadeliberty @PhillyJoeD IMO the state lottery is better than corporate exploitation of gambling addiction purely for profiteering

The extent of gambling expansion in Pennsylvania has proven a mistake. As someone tangentially involved in that happening while in state government, I’m willing to admit it. Some of this is just not worth the tax revenue.

@crushkillcrush It’s what we evolved them for

@marrowvoid Drink it through your teeth

@simonsarris Minimalism is cowardice, every layer is a choice and every choice offers a glimpse of your soul. Far too many prefer not to be seen, least of all by themselves

everything should have layers and layers of texture none of this "soft corporate" minimalism

ideal interior design

@NeverendingEvil Only God forgives…

@marrowvoid Im so sorry it just pays so much better

@CruelEvilBeast These frighten me but maybe an emergency stash in the glove compartment wouldn’t hurt

How it feels to wake up too late to make coffee before work