Tweet fixado
18: can I buy a bottle of wine?
USA: no that's illegal & irresponsible
18: can I go $50,000 into debt for education?
USA: we encourage it
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paperwash©
80.7K posts
paperwash©
@PaperWash
Molly https://t.co/Im90eMUfPb
Entrou em Ağustos 2011
808 Seguindo41.2K Seguidores
[book club]
Jesus: sup guys, so this week I was reading-
group: [groans in unison]
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paperwash© retweetou
I wanna see the CEO of Pfizer taking benzos
Trung Phan@TrungTPhan
Costco CEO Ron Vachris did the “CEO eats his own product” challenge by destroying a hot dog (and confirms the Costco hot dog combo is staying at $1.50 forever). Legend.
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I think the biggest issue in America right now is companies putting little pieces of broccoli stalks in frozen veggie bags
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according to Dunbar's Number, celebrities really only love about 150 of their fans
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paperwash© retweetou
ai can’t write good because it’s designed to write pleasantly average sentences with all the right words in the right order and imho good writing requires u to strategically deploy a word that is wrong and maybe even evil
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paperwash© retweetou
“I'm a 90s kid!”
Sir, you are a 40-year-old man.
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paperwash© retweetou
@PaperWash @AsiaDNYC Every time you walked into a room you just belt out “IT’S BACOOOOON!”
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@AsiaDNYC @AngrySkycrane 😂😂
Kibbles n Bits would have to be the nickname from jump street and this is why I'm single lol
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@PaperWash @AngrySkycrane I’d be hitting her with the “kibbles and bits” on the regularrr
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I don't even want to watch my girlfriend eat a hamburger let alone some old as fuck CEO
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yeah but can they tell why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?
Dom Lucre | Breaker of Narratives@dom_lucre
🔥🚨BREAKING: A petri dish filled with human brain cells just learned to how to play DOOM Scientists at Cortical Labs have successfully trained a cluster of approximately 200,000 living human neurons, grown on a microelectrode array chip, to play the classic 3D video game DOOM.
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@AngrySkycrane @AsiaDNYC imagine dating someone named Purina and every time you get in an argument you just yell "YEAH OK KIBBLES N BITS" and storm out of the room
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@AsiaDNYC Fancy Feast would be a beautiful name for a girl
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@_NatalieWould you'll never believe what I'll be wearing at book club tonight
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The only excuse for wearing leopard print is to get out of book club
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paperwash© retweetou
That’s not “dad-bod” that’s an increase in insulin from over eating carbohydrates and an inability to metabolize sugar from drinking too much alcohol and having a fatty liver, that man is dying
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so we're just supposed to believe that Bruce Banner wore purple pants everyday and he was some kind of scientist? ok
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paperwash© retweetou
I only wear ripped jeans if they've been mauled by a panther
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paperwash© retweetou
If you see someone crying ask them if it’s because of their haircut
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