Mayowa

I am supporting 15 ladies who want to apply for MSc programs in the UK, US, or Canada for 2025 or 2026. The best part? There’s a loan available that can cover your tuition and living expenses. Reply or DM if you are interested.

@Molayoo_ The mama dey piss me off

Mothers like this piss me off sm.

@TheAjibolaGrey I have always used this recipe and it’s a banger every time. Thank you 😊

There you go, simple and easy.

@OjoAzeezAyinde @Hauwa_L Wow , just wow.

@Hauwa_L People buying sp0ilt r0tten Tomatoes didn't start today. They are called esa in Yoruba language. The reason why people go them is because they are way cheaper. It's not necessarily about p0verty as you are trying to paint it.

We actually don’t know how poor we are. People are in the market choosing to go for spoilt rotten tomatoes so they can eat.

@Comr__Asiwaju @NationalGridNg Arindin

@NationalGridNg Has it should be. The unpatriotic Nigerians won't give the accolade now oooh. They are no where to be found.

No grid collapse in February, March, April and Counting. Progress.....

@Mimee_ilo @akankebillions 🤯🤭

Is your blood boiling?!

@bluntasf_ @olajumokeokenla I remember this book 😂

@olajumokeokenla Funny 😂😂 Reminded me of a similar conversation I read in a Yorùbá novel in Secondary School (Àpótí Alákàrà) Ìyá : “Taa nìyẹn?” Àńwòó: “Èmi ni ma…” Ìyá: “Ìwọ ta ni?” 😏 Àńwòó: “ Àńwòó ni ma…” Ìyá: “ Kí lẹ̀ ń wò ?” The whole class bursted out laughing that day 😂.

You guys promised not to laugh 🤲 His name is Ayuba. One day, he asked me out on a date. I told him to ask my mum first. My mum said we should go by 3pm and be back by 5pm, as she was also going to a wedding party that day. I entered my wardrobe, brought out my ìṣàlẹ̀ àpò tí… few minutes later, I was ready but guess what? I looked like I was going to preach inside the witches coven… aside the colour. I looked like a proper Jehovah Witness pro max 😭 Let me take you guys through my outfit: Red shirt, black skirt suit, red cover shoes , red bag, red hat 💀 I was looking like advanced Ṣàngó. The only difference was that I wasn’t puffing fire from my mouth… but everything else? Ṣàngó Olúkósọ́ fully 😭 Everywhere danger 😭 Who remembers that P-Square “Danger” song? 😭 That song was me that day 💀 You think he looked better? Rárá. Baba bootcut trouser was bigger than Fela’s But in my head… my “sharp-looking” baby 😔 You already know the voice speaking in my head… LOVE Looking back now… something was definitely wrong with me 🤦‍♀️ Anyways, we sha went to Tantalizers. Ordered meat pie and Vita Milk. We even took pictures like proper lovers 😂. I was checking time because I know my mum By 5pm, I said let’s go… But this man said, “let stay small, mumsi won’t be angry” Omo… we stayed till past 7 💀 We bought food for my mum, got home and knocked… My mum: “Ta ni yẹn?” Me: “Èmi ni ma…” My mum: “Ìwọ ta ni?” 😏 Me: “Tina ma…” My mum: “Tina wo?” Me: Tina wo how? my eyes first blur 🙆‍♀️ My mum: “Tina? Tina la ti bó?” 💀 That was when I knew it was over You’re probably wondering how I even got here… Let me take you back to how I met Ayuba 🫩 After secondary school, my mum enrolled me in a computer school. She monitored me like CCTV, by 6pm I must be home. If I’m late, she’ll question my boss. Mavis Beacon game was my distraction then 😔 Ayuba was a phone engineer along my route. One day my Nokia Asa spoilt so I took it to him. He fixed it and said he liked me. Me? Okay na 😭 We became friends… exchanged Facebook usernames and started confusion love , “good morning pweety” 2go chat format type Fast forward to 2013, I gained admission. I felt I was already a big girl so i told my mum I had a “male friend” 💀 She said she wanted to meet him. This man came and DENIED me when my mom asked if he was my boyfriend Ayuba: “Rárá ma o! ọ̀rẹ́ lásán ni wa ma o!” My mum said “no problem”… said since I’m ready for my husband’s house, I should forget my admission 💀 We begged, everything settled, and Ayuba became close to my family. Continuation to that day This man now said with full chest: “Mummy, èmi ni ọmọ yín ma…” ( mum is me your child) My mum: Ọmọ wo? Ọmọ tani? Tí mo bá bá yín níta, ilé máa ga ju yín lọ!” (Which child? Whose child? If I meet you outside, the ground will be higher than you!) She opened the gate, ayuba gave him the phone, she collected it and threw it like Mecca stone 💀 Locked the gate. I was now outside… homeless in my Ṣàngó outfit. Oh chim He said I should follow him home. I said kuku kill me finally 🙄 Meanwhile, our church was nearby, but as a Celestial, red and black is a taboo… And me? Under 🔴, outside ⚫ So he suggested if he should go home and bring his agbada, I agreed. I wore Agbádá over my sango outfit and entered church. People were staring at me like they saw a devil 😪 They asked if everything was alright… Me (in my head): nothing is alright 😩

@miss_ezeani that right there was a miracle 😂

My iPhone 15 pm, no screen guard, artsy naked pouch, just fell from around 4feet, face-first on my metal door threshold. The “kpa-kpraaaa” sound it made as it hit the iron, killed every hope of a miracle in me. I just knew I better be praying for a “manageable” damage, than no damage at all, because that sounds more grantable. You guys… not a single scratch. Not one. Not even a dent. I shall now proceed to dedicating the rest of my life, serving God.

@Atilolahafeezah @Jibmann You know this !!!

Best city to marry from; IBADAN!!!!

@JoelKamiru @UgwuDiAso @coolkid__8 Jesu oko ijo.

@coolkid__8 The pendulum of his mind swings from nonsense to stupidity

Josh, honest question with no malice: Do you stand for anything at all? Principles, values, or beliefs that actually guide your actions not just whatever is convenient or trending at the moment?

@TinaZinhle @ComfortDickso13 Then you hear “ Aunty , do you understand what I am saying “ 😂

Sitting next to a talkative stranger in a taxi has to be the worst thing ever

Please get your PVC and exercise your rights !!!!

Do you know how crazy this is ?

Countries are now putting Nigeria and Iran , Pakistan in the same group chat. If you like don’t vote out bad governance.

We literally have less than 3 days left to register. I am kindly asking everyone to pls reach out to their loved ones. If each of us convince 5 people to vote then we win. Pls kindly retweet and engage for more reach.

You don’t need to do too much to get me pissed off.

@BigBadReni @_mykingdom Finally , my own people have found me

I love being neurodivergent. I know I went through a lot this year, but I simply cannot remember any of it

Please register so your votes can leave social media to where it actually matters !!!!

@thisissubomii @Anuoluwaplentee How would he have avoided it ??

@Anuoluwaplentee there's a way you could've avoided this sha

This tweet played out tonite. I took my bike to get something down the street. Few minutes later I got there, I alighted and parked the bike. Approaching the shop I wanted to buy something I noticed a car parked along the road but I didn’t pay attention I just passed beside it.

Register to get your pvc now ! cvr.inecnigeria.org Input your neccesary details. Input the state you’ll like to vote in. Know your LG and your ward, select the closest voting center to you. Spread the word and keep raising more awareness towards next year’s election.

More than half of my timeline wants Tinubu out , we are beginning to wake up as a country.