Dollar Store Pimp™️

@AntiToxicPeople It’s a child support post…

What in the dementia is this?! 🤪🧐😳🤤 (Who the fuck is that?!)

@ABC7Chicago It’s not like you’ve ever been wrong… 🙄

It's looking like dads in the Chicago area will be dealing with rain on Father's Day, and ABC7's Greg Dutra has the latest forecast. abc7chicago.com/post/chicago-w…

@FreddyLA7 I’m so sorry…

Celebrating Germany’s win with dinner at Denny’s😋

@mhp_guy Ummm… maybe you should’ve just done it yourself… Is what I would say if this wasn’t a totally made up story…

I just don’t understand. I hired a guy to hang a TV. It’s all he does. 4.8 stars. Tons of reviews. He has one job! Then he can’t find a stud and proceeds to go to Lowe’s to buy special screws that’ll hang it directly into the drywall! 50” TV in drywall!? I had to intervene.

@ChiBearsMuse Dude… It’s June 20th. Nobody gives a shit about football right now…

Am I the only one who loves seeing Chicago finally get the recognition it deserves because of Caleb Williams bringing so much attention to the city and Bears football, but at the same time hope Chicago doesn’t become overly crowded and commercialized like Los Angeles, Miami, or New York. Do you guys agree? disagree?

@AriA1exander Ummm… is he white…? 😳

TRADE! Sources: The #Astros are trading RHP Jayden Murray to the #Cubs #Cubs Double-A 1B Cameron Sisneros has been traded to the #Astros

@washingtonpost The unemployment rate needs to be at 60% by the summer of 2029 in order to fix this country…

Noticing a piece of the new “American flag blue” liner that was partially detached from the Reflecting Pool, David Hearn said he reached in to see what it felt like. Moments later, U.S. Park Police officers arrested him on a misdemeanor charge of destruction of government property. wapo.st/3QBU57J

@WGNNews Grandpa needs to be put in hospice…

President Trump unveiled the new Qatari-gifted Air Force One plane on Friday, saying it will fly “further and faster” than any other model of presidential plane. More: tinyurl.com/22vny58v

@davidaxelrod @Cubs It’s almost like you haven’t watched him play… 😳

PCA of the @Cubs has the highest combined offensive and defensive WAR among NL players. He is the hottest hitter in baseball. How could he be 14th in All-Star voting for outfielders?!? Come on, folks! mlb.com/gameday/824665…

@atrupar Why…? Is he gonna be on The View full time now…? 😂

JD Vance is on his way to Switzerland to negotiate with the Iranians but tells reporters he can only stay "a day or two"

@davidpollack47 @USMNT It’s like if they decided to have the entire playoffs in Evanston and they let Northwestern in just because the games were in their stadium…

Not a soccer guy. Explain @USMNT’s chances to win the World Cup in CFB terms?

@ABC Elon needs to be sued for trillions…

A driver in a Tesla vehicle that was allegedly in self-driving mode crashed into a Texas house Friday night, killing a woman who was inside the home, investigators said. abcnews.link/qbwtFc0

@InternetH0F And there shouldn’t be…

There are now zero states in the US where a full time minimum wage job is enough to afford a 2 bedroom apartment

@ShamsCharania Why did I think his name was Connor…? 😳

Free agent guard Collin Gillespie intends to sign a four-year, $48 million deal to return to the Phoenix Suns, sources tell ESPN. Gillespie spent three straight seasons on two-way contracts after going undrafted out of Villanova in 2022 and now earns a lucrative long-term deal.

@JoJoFromJerz The Algae Police: coming soon to Nickelodeon… 😂

It was the darkest of times, it was the dumbest of times. 🤦🏼‍♀️

@HoernerMyGoat2 @jacobinfante24 Loser says what…? 😂

@DollarTreePimp @jacobinfante24 The irony of this comment

I love Chicago summers but I could really go for the adrenaline of a Caleb Williams game-winning drive rn

@nut_history The Me Too movement should have started right there… 😂

Cal Ripken Jr. is getting ready to hit and gets mauled by Morganna, the kissing bandit. The 80’s were wild. That cop was a bit too happy to bring her in hallway. And the guys in the dugout were having way to much fun

@PolymarketHoops @DWolfsonKSTP Has White Bread and Dark Meat been taken…?

JUST IN: The Minnesota Timberwolves are interested in trading for Josh Giddey, per @DWolfsonKSTP. Give this duo a nickname 👀

@gtconway3d C’mon, man… We both know that if the Orange Turd was fucking around with super glue his fingers would be stuck together… 🫤

Full. Neuropsych. Workup.