Deb

@mirandadevine @SecDuffy Bicyclists are scourge on the American roadway.

The war on motorists rages on. @SecDuffy

@RobProvince I was thinking of all the BS things the government forces on me the other day. What kind of lightbulb to buy, how often I water my grass, if I can a gas stove, how many chickens I can have, and on and on and ON. Just leave me alone. FFS.

Then democrats should stop trying to dominate literally every aspect of our lives.

@RobProvince The only thing I need to know about this guy is he’s wearing a mask in 2026.

@BrandonStraka To what end? What’s it looking for? What will it do when it finds it?

A robotic security “dog” is now patrolling sites across Atlanta, including apartments, parking lots, and construction areas, as the company eyes law enforcement contracts. Some are calling it eerie and dystopian.

@BuckSexton Isn’t this the guy who bashes himself in the face with a hammer for “looksmaxxing”? Yeah, he’s not real bright.

Totally moronic behavior on every level

@ThoughtCrimes80 There is a huge fire off 115 by Ft Carson. There’s another around the Springs, too. Alarming when fire season starts so early.

Last night, I left my window open and definitely smelled smoke. I just figured it was my menopause brain conjuring up phantom smells, but it’s awfully smoky today. Does anyone know if there’s a fire of South Denver, or if the wind is blowing this in from someplace else? 🔥

@bankertobuilder A travesty.

Before and after Client was sick of the dusty old floors that were often cold in the winter We fixed it up with something tasteful and modern

@nypost The verdict was correct. The only people who think anything about her prosecution is acceptable are the corrupt police in Mass.

Disgraced cop Kelsey Fitzsimmons receives stunning verdict from judge in police shooting case trib.al/EbNqS9X

@CNviolations Afroman trial.

Let's see how this goes 👀

@it_unprofession @Maga4Justice They do this every two years where my husband works. Going Lean. Don’t Move My Cheese. Lean In. Agile. Etc etc ad nauseam.

We hired a consulting firm to tell us why our profits are down. They sent three 24-year-olds wearing vests. They spent two months interviewing us about our own jobs. Then they put our answers into a PowerPoint presentation. They charged us $250K for this privilege. During the final readout, one of them used the phrase synergy optimization without blinking. I looked around the conference room. Our CEO was nodding like he just received the Ten Commandments. The grand conclusion was that we need to increase revenue and decrease costs. I could've told them that for a gift card to Panera. But nobody listens to the guy who works here. You only listen to the guy who flies in on a Tuesday. I'm updating my resume to include synergy optimization. It feels like the right move.

@alt_w_v_g A dr’s office made me fill out all new paperwork, and then told me they needed to take my picture. I said No. They said it protected against insurance fraud. I said what would protect against fraud would be to stop making me fill out reams of paper they throw away in dumpsters.

Went to the doctor yesterday My wife made the appointment She also filled out the pre-visit forms online All of them She said "did you go alone" I said "yes" My analyst drove separately When I arrived the receptionist handed me a clipboard With a Bic pen Attached to a string Like I was going to steal it The form asked for everything my wife already submitted online Name Date of birth Address Insurance I filled it out again Handed it back My analyst was already at the counter He leaned over the receptionist's screen Looked at it for three seconds Then looked at me He said "boss man, the headers have gridlines on" She minimized the window He sat down She said "have a seat, we'll call you shortly" I sat down at 2:14pm At 2:31 she handed my clipboard to another woman Who sat down at a computer eight feet away And typed everything I just wrote into the screen At 2:38 she came back Said she couldn't read one letter of my address An address they've had on file since 2022 An address my wife typed into their portal three days ago I spelled it out loud In a waiting room full of strangers Then sat back down My analyst had his laptop open I glanced at his screen He was on Zillow Looking up my home address The one I just spelled out loud He closed the laptop At 2:51 a nurse called my name Mispronounced it Four years She walked us to a room She looked at my analyst She said "family member?" I said "closest thing I have" She didn't ask follow-up questions She took my blood pressure Wrote it on a piece of paper Then typed it into a computer Then wrote it on another piece of paper Three records of the same number My analyst looked at me I looked at him We didn't say anything We didn't have to She said "the doctor will be right in" She left at 2:54 My analyst opened his laptop Built a model I said "for what" He said "the wait time" He projected the doctor would arrive at 3:38 The doctor came in at 3:41 Three minutes off He was disappointed in himself 87 minutes total in the building He said "so what brings you in today" I told him He looked at his chart My analyst said "you have his date of birth wrong" The doctor looked at him Then looked at me I said "he's right" The doctor corrected it My analyst said "the insurance ID is also off by one digit" The doctor put his pen down He said "and you are?" I said "he's with me" The doctor continued He said "let's keep an eye on it" That's what he said last year He said "alright, now the fun part" He said "I'm going to need you to drop the cargo shorts" I looked at my analyst My analyst looked at me He covered his eyes The appointment lasted four minutes I waited 87 minutes for a four-minute appointment It's 2026 We can launch a rocket into space and land it vertically on the exact square foot it left from But my doctor's office is using a string to protect a Bic pen I texted my wife from the parking lot She said "how'd it go" I said "they lost my address again" She said "I submitted it online three days ago" I said "I know" She said "did you bring him" I didn't answer She said "I'm switching doctors" First time we've agreed on anything all week Make common sense common again Plz fix. Thx. Sent from my iPhone

@heidiganahl @realDonaldTrump @HopeSchepp @RepJeffHurd As an aside, I would like Trump to stop shitting on the people of Colorado just because he hates Polis. We all hate Polis. But the president is hurting regular people.

*BREAKING* @realDonaldTrump bringing @HopeSchepp into his administration and moves endorsement back to @RepJeffHurd in Colorado.

@OldHollowTree Owl wife: dammit, I just cleaned in here!

Good day.

@BrandonStraka It’s like they don’t hear themselves talk.

Democrat Sen. Jacky Rosen exposes her party, admitting the SAVE America Act would “shrink the size of our electorate,” sparking questions about who is voting. “This bill is about… shrinking the size of our electorate to befenit republicans.”

This is the hero for our time

@adamcarolla Gosh, that is an irresistible offer.

Good luck dope

@CSPNational @BrandonStraka Don’t be ridiculous.

@BrandonStraka Free Speech needs guardrails.

A New Jersey man posted a video of himself cutting the head off a Trump doll while shouting anti-Trump chants. Actions like this raise serious concerns—and questions about accountability.

@BrandonStraka so.. make this plan. acquire a doll. Set up a camera. Film oneself hacking up doll. Edit. Post. NEVER consider how insane this looks? That’s a lot of steps without ever considering the exit ramp.

@alt_w_v_g @Maga4Justice I had a boss who gave us all an extra paid day off at Christmas instead of forcing everyone to endure some stupid party. It was great.

Karen in HR swung by my office this morning Asked if I'm joining the Employee Engagement team-building session this afternoon I said "what is it" She said "an escape room" I said "what time" She said "5pm" On a Friday An escape room At 5pm On a Friday The irony of trapping employees in a room they have to solve their way out of at the exact hour they've been trying to escape all week was apparently lost on her I said "no" She said "it's mandatory" I said "so is reading the policy before enforcing it but here we are" She said "it's about building team culture" I said "I already spend 50 hours a week with these people. If we haven't built culture by now, a padlock and a flashlight aren't going to fix it." She said "your attitude is part of the problem" I said "my attitude built the Q2 forecast in two days. What has the escape room built." She didn't answer She left a flyer on my desk I used it as a coaster At 4:58 I packed my bag The analyst saw me leaving He said "you're not going?" I said "I have somewhere to be" He said "where" I said "home" He looked confused Like the concept of leaving at 5 on a Friday was something he'd only read about I said "you should try it sometime" Got in the car My wife called She said "are you coming home?" I said "I escaped" She said "from what" I said "the escape room" She said "you didn't go did you" I said "I didn't need to. I solved it from my office. The answer was the door." She laughed First time she's laughed at something I said in weeks I'm counting that Plz fix. Thx. Sent from my iPhone

@SovMichael @ConceptualJames Oh no! That’s so sad.

Of all of the celebrities and governmental officials that I have met in my life, I would say that Chuck Norris was one of those that didn't possess an "aura" around him. At least to me, he was a regular, straight-froward man. Thanks for the memories, Chuck.