Chukwutem

Disclaimer: This post contains dark humor. If you take life very seriously, kindly protect your peace and keep scrolling. Commenting “this is not funny” will not make it unfunny. You can add yours 👽

@Teeniiola Make person use AI turn all of them to bag of rice abeg. That bold lady should be 50kg and the rest 25kg

On your mandate Bola Ahmed Tinubu we shall stand” — Devoted members fully support city boy movement for 2027 election

If you ask your friend or family member for financial help & they start ignoring your calls, please stop calling & respect their decision. Do not keep pestering them with calls to the point of pushing them to say what you already know. Then you use it against them. End.

@Younad__ @OsinachiNuel @AdesojiCalebs Help ask oo 😂😂

@OsinachiNuel @AdesojiCalebs 500£ to feed a month? Is that for the family or the council?

Using Birmingham as an example: Husband: House Rent for 2 bed flats=£1,300 Band A Council Tax=£150 Total=£1,450 Supportive Wife: Internet=£25 Water=£35 Electricity=£100 Gas=£100 Total= £250. My sympathy to all the Odogwus in the UK…😂😂😂

This meat sharing that I participated in had me fighting like John Cena. So, it was 85k per slot and when we were about to start sharing, the cow sharer said he was going to take the neck for himself. Niccur said it was the tradition. As how now? Something we had already paid your services for? I refused because why? If na tradition, why una still dey charge us exorbitant amount? And this tradition emanated from the olden days when meat sharing was carried out by semi skilled people who did it as an act of goodwill. So it was fair to compensate them with a token which was either the neck or the legs or any part they fancied. But when it became commercialized, they transferred this action into modern day meat sharing. Back then, meat sharing was done by men whose payment was gratitude, palm wine and maybe the neck if the gods of kindness were smiling. It was goodwill. It was community. It was, “take this small thing for your effort.” Now? You have turned it into a business model with profit margins and still smuggled in the old benefits like contraband. Sir, pick a struggle. If this is tradition, reduce the fee. If this is business, drop the folklore. You cannot be charging like you went to Harvard Business School and still operating like your certificate was issued by your great-grandfather. And I stood there, my spirit rising like a lecturer who has just caught a student quoting William Shakespeare without citation. Because there are things my truncated teaching career has taught me. Once you let one nonsense pass unchecked, it will multiply like exam malpractice. Today it is neck. Tomorrow, “By tradition, the sharer takes liver.” Next tomorrow? “By culture, we reserve the thigh for administrative and boom! Before you know it, you’re carrying bones home like archaeological evidence of your own foolishness. No. Not on my watch. I adjusted my imaginary gown like an Oscar-winning professor of Common Sense, looked him dead in the eye and said: “Sir… remove your hand from that neck before this becomes a practical class.” Because oppression in this country rarely arrives with drums. It comes dressed in calm sentences like: “Na how we dey do am.” And if you don’t interrogate it, you will inherit nonsense like family land. The funniest part? Some people were nodding. Nodding! As if the ancestral spirits had logged into their brains and pressed “agree.” Me, I refused. Because I did not pay ₦85k to sponsor history. I did not come here to fund cultural preservation. If tradition is hungry… Tradition should go and rear its own dam!n cow! 😌🔥 Credit: Oluwabukola Oseni

Have you all finished reading the married man's DM on the back up page? His story reminded me of an inlaw who unfortunately passed on because of the type of wife that he married. He was 45. He was asthmatic and had high blood pressure, which he had been managing even before he married her. This man did all he could to explain to his wife that her nagging was always getting to him, but she didn't listen. On the day he died, he called his brothers and sisters: "I have not been feeling well, the doctor adviced me to take a bed rest. But my wife has not been giving me peace. If I die, please know that she killed me, because the way I feel right now, I may not see tomorrow". They called his wife and pleaded with her to allow him to rest. A few hours later, the wife called to say that she was on her way to the hospital with him, and that he wasn't breathing well and was too weak. He died at the hospital few hours later, leaving behind a son and the pregnant wife at the time. The wife started shedding crocodile tears. Family members accepted their painful loss and buried their brother. The wife gave birth a few months later, and after a few weeks, abandoned the two children with the family in the village. She went to the city, sold his car and properties, and left for another state. A few months later, she returned to pick up the two children to God knows where. No one has seen those kids or set eyes on the "widow." Even when the family offered to take responsibility for the children, she and her family refused. I have left out some details from this story for obvious reasons. I want to reiterate, it is very important for you, regardless of gender, to choose someone who is kind. Kindness is one of the three pillars of marriage. If you marry an unkind spouse, they'll always look out for themselves first, before considering you. And it is worse if the unkind person is the wife. Because the wife runs the home. If she's selfish and greedy, nothing you do for her would either be enough or appreciated. Nagging would always want to drive you insane, and you may not live long. Because instead of your wife to be supportive, she would be sabotaging your efforts and milking you dry until nothing is left to milk. Then she would frustrate your life and still act like the victim. This is why I have been insisting that you, young people, should find ways to cohabit. A significant number of the issues you'd experience in marriage, cohabiting would give you the opportunity to see them first hand, and decide if this is truly what you want to live with for the rest of your life. These stories that I share are not fictional stories. They're people's experiences, and we are privileged to be reading them. The people behind those stories are humans like you and me. Do you think that if they had the power to see their future, they would have made such mistakes in the beginning? Learn from them and save yourself from having to come to my DM in the future. End.

Turn on posts notifications on this back up page. So you don't miss out on anything. I use two phones; 1 for each account. So you will just be seeing multiple likes from both pages or replies. Especially when I'm less busy. Make confusion no do you o 😂.

@Prestigious_Gt Allow your guy get some experience too

My guy recently introduced his babe to me after almost 3 years he got to uk in search of a life partner and this girl had tattoo on her body with nose piercing,I got heartbroken 💔 but I acted along Do you think I should tell my guy my mind or just comot face?

@thenoisemakerhq Fair enough

Semester suspension, Mandatory counselling, Formal reprimand on academic record, Public apology, Fines. Visible. Proportionate. Corrective. Punish the judgment that failed not the future that hasn't happened yet

@frank_omullo @Freddnova No mind the olodo. He thinks CE is all about opening and closing laptop. He hasn’t even heard of CNC machines

@Freddnova Who do you think set up GPUs in data centers?

Unrelated.....I'm a mechanical engineering student and we are the only department that makes use of helmet and workshop overall kit. When did computer engineering students start using helmets???????😂💔

@EmmanityEzulum1 @Freddnova Every engineering firm must out on complete PPE. Different tasks require different PPEs. By the way, nothing like overall, it is called coverall

@Freddnova Except he's into robotics and embedded stuffs. But overall I'm lost. Maybe he's trying to be extra safe. Rem safety first

What are saying, and wtf is “overall”? It is called coverall Between, do you think computer engineering is all about opening and closing CPUs? Don’t know you know that computer engineering is very similar to an aspect of electrical engineering?? Hence they can work in firms that utilise computer numerically controlled machines, if that’s the case, then they must wear helmet. You go school go dy play bet

My dad always said “drink your garri in peace with your kids. Don’t send them to live with anyone”.. going through the quotes and comments, I totally agree with him again and again..

@rukky_nate @tjet33 Termites are more honourable than APC supporters

Yesterday, Pamilerin said he had to shut down his restaurant after his landlord increased rent by 600% What he didn’t realise is that the increase was a direct consequence of Tinubu’s shambolic performance. The same performance the termite was celebrating with a love emoji.

@EmediongTG @the_beardedsina Private choice in a public place.

@the_beardedsina Schools are meant to shape lives not break them over private choices. Chastised for the improper location, yes, not throwing people out.

Call me Old school But i don't buy the idea of expelling students in University caught having sex. What i will expect the school to do is chastise them for having sex in a classroom, teach them how to use a condom, teach them safe sex and connect them to youth centers.

Here, a majority of us are hard-headed; that’s why therapy doesn’t work on us. Those two are mentally sound adults, they understand what safe sex is, they know the school’s rules, but they deliberately and consciously ignored all, and did what they did and even recorded it. If you send them to youth centres, they would also start fuvking in the board room. The school did what is good for them

@thenoisemakerhq @the_beardedsina What punishment do you think is proportionate to their offence?

Expelling students for having sex is too extreme. Zero consequences is equally dangerous. The answer is simple: Educate. Counsel. Provide contraception access. Then apply proportionate punishment, not expulsion. You cannot punish people for problems you refused to educate them about. But you cannot ignore people you refused to hold accountable either. Discipline and education were always meant to work together.

@Cee_jayking There’s a reason why this post has over 700 bookmarks and still counting. A lot of us can relate to this experience, some are still suffering same. Some relationships are better off from afar.

When I first moved to the UK, I was squatting with my mom’s younger brother, who by the way is freaking rich!!!! He’s lived here for most of his life and would visit Nigeria only during Christmas. Married a white woman and has kids. I looked up to him, admired him and he was one of my favorite uncles. We had a good relationship for the longest of time before I left Nigeria. However, after moving into his house I realized he is deputy Satan. He treated me like shit. Talked down on me like I was beneath him. Would mock my “Nigerian accent”. One day he saw me using the microwave and asked if I have ever used one in my life or if we had one in Nigeria. Asked if I knew what a washing machine is. Me? First class graduate from FUTO with my IELTS band 8.0. Many things I can’t remember now but one thing I can’t forget was one time his wife and son travelled in the summer. It was on a Sunday and we’d just got back from church. I decided to make us lunch and so with my money I got stuffs from the shops. I made him barbecue fish with plantain. Specially. I was happy doing something nice for this man. He accepted it after I served, or so I thought. I went into my room until the next day when I was leaving early for work. Just as I was about leaving the door, he called me back in. Asked why I decided to make him food yesterday. I responded that I just wanted to do something nice for him and since his wife wasn’t at home to cook for him, I decided to. He looked me dead in the eye, said I should never offer anything again to him, told me he left “my fish” in the kitchen and I should take it back. lol I grew up in so much comfort that I’d never experienced “maltreatment” and anyone being condescending to me until my adult life. Till today, I still ask God to help me forgive him because I’ve never hated someone in my entire life this much. It was so bad that at a point I also resented my mom for being his sister. I resented their entire family. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I bookmarked this to respond later … Like atheists, Agnostics do not believe in God either , which is why Agnosticism and atheism aren’t mutually exclusive because they’re answering different questions. And it’s very important to know these things if you are against atheism. Atheism addresses belief….“Do you believe a god exists?”, while agnosticism addresses knowledge…“Do you claim to know whether a god exists?” You can consistently say “I don’t believe” and at the same time “I don’t know,” and that position …”agnostic atheism”… is actually where most atheists fall. There’s no contradiction here because belief and knowledge operate at different levels… belief is about what you accept as true, while knowledge implies a stronger claim of justified certainty. You don’t need certainty to withhold belief,,,in fact, we do this all the time in everyday reasoning. Once you see that distinction clearly, atheism stops looking like a bold claim and starts looking like the default rational stance. When someone aserts that a god exists, they’re making a positive claim about reality, and the reasonable response is to ask for evidence before accepting it. If that evidence isn’t provided, withholding belief isn’t dogmatic or stupid , it’s exactly what we do with any unsupported claim. You don’t belive something first and then wait for evidence…you wait for evidence and then form belief. Atheism, in this sense, is just the consistent application of that principle. By contrast, theism(which religious people hold) carries a much heavier burden because it doesn’t just posit that something exists, it usually makes specific claims… that a god exists, that this god has intentions, communicates what it wants from us, intervenes, inspires books , reveal itself to people in caves , had a son etc . Each added detail increases the burden of proof and implausibility of theism and yet these claims typically rely on tradition, revelation, or “personal experience” rather than independently verifiable evidence. Deism, on the other hand, makes a more minimal claim…a non-intervening creator…which reduces its burden compared to theism, but it still asserts the existence of an entity without direct evidence, so it remains speculative. when you line it all up, agnostic atheism comes out as the most epistemically grounded position…it avoids overreaching claims, aligns with how we evaluate evidence everywhere else, and simply withholds belief until there’s sufficient justification. It’s not claiming certainty…it’s just refusing to pretend certainty where there isn’t any…🙂

@Wizarab10 @Iamflames3 I remember this actual story very well 😂 It made rounds on here a few years ago

This babe flew me to Dubai for 3 nights. Because I refused to have sex with her, she abandoned me there without booking my return ticket. We did not discuss sex before travelling. I thought she just wanted to dwell in my presence. Now I'm stranded.