Buff, 🇺🇸

@Hotchkiz Too late to change name to Chesty?

>Potty training youngest >Last night pee was red >Wife freaks out >About to go to ER >Get her to calm down and set up an appointment with pediatrician for 7AM today >Pediatrician runs test on urine. Slightly orangish red colored >Perfectly hydrated, no bacteria >Says to come back on Thursday if it persists >Wife still worried/agitated >Changing their poop, notice glitter while wiping >Switch on detective mode >Check the box of glitter crayons sister recently got for her birthday >All the reds and oranges are gone >Check under youngest’s bed >Crayon wrappers with no crayons within. Reds and oranges. >Mystery solved >Wife is now able to sleep soundly

@FICMBondTrader Without the GLP it would have been half a cake. Progress!

300lb relative on GLP1 shoveling a quarter of a cake in her face Not even hard drugs could stop the fatties

@BrianAtlas While she was “building slowly” with one man she was fucking someone else? 😂

BRUTAL RED PILL...

@Forkickszx @Broken_Dreamszz That’s how it ended if he blocked her on everything and moved to remote Alaska where he’d never be found.

@Broken_Dreamszz That’s probably not how it ended. That’s not how reality works

@UziCryptoo I have an uncle who put 3 grandchildren in his will. Problem is he had 4, and the 4th one is the one who was there to drive him to the hospital his final time. Always thought his daughter got him to amend the will at the last second, but no one challenged it.

My boomer uncle bought his house for $68,000 in 1992, Today it’s worth $1,300,000. He always told me I was in the will. Said I’d be taken care of. I spent years thinking I had a safety net. He died this week. The house went to his wife. Who is 61. Who just announced she’s getting remarried. I am not in the new will.

BREAKING: Hezbollah reportedly struck a British warship with a missile in the Mediterranean, misidentifying it as Israeli.

@BRICSinfo Like the last three have been killed though

JUST IN: 🇺🇸🇮🇷 US President Trump says he has given Iranian negotiators "immunity from death," Fox News reports.

@DougAMacgregor Went into their country, kicked ass, came home with an extra person. Was that the surprise?

BREAKING: Iranian Army warns of "massive historic surprise" tonight that the "world will remember for centuries."

@shelovesore Took me awhile to separate “on the third day” from “three days later” too.

I’m sorry, genuinely asking but i thought Jesus died on a Friday afternoon. Going by that and the fact that he resurrected 3 days after, aren’t we meant to be celebrating Easter on Monday and not Sunday?

@saltysquidswife I got one last year at 39 years old. Put the phone down and go get a basket filled up.

My youngest, who is a 19-yo college freshman, is really bummed that I didn't put together an Easter basket for him. At what age is it okay for me to stop? 😂

@DonaldBestCA @OPP_News Shoot the sister for being that evil

Take a 102-year-old man from his home in Canada and you risk never seeing him alive again. That’s the MAID reality families fear. @OPP_News show up in Tillsonburg with a court order. Son: “Not opening the door. Break it if you have a warrant. It’s under appeal.” The father is clear: he’ll die where he chooses. He sounds clear and rational to me. The dispute? Sister wants the farm. Father wants to stay. She alleges dementia, son says he is clear and rational. Police are caught in the middle. But enforcing a Thursday night order on Good Friday with no time for legal response is dirty pool. In the end the officers leave because they are not going to kick down the door and the son knows it. The son also says he doesn't trust the police or the courts. These days, I don't blame him at all.

@intelFromBrian If they had said “went in in the dark, found him, got him out still in the dark” there would be no questioning. Those dudes own the night.

It’s laughable how biased many of the OSINT community is with regards to American forces. They truly act like US forces can’t be touched in a shootout. It really crowds their judgement. ONE unreliable source says the soldier has been found and they all think it happened…. Despite not a single media member confirming it.

@WallStreetApes It’s Little Rock. The white people literally elected a black mayor so they could feel less racist. Fuck em.

WOW 🚨 New Muslim only community coming to Arkansas They are openly declaring ONLY Muslims can live there - 22 homes planned, 5 already built and sold - Every buyer must sign the binding ISLAMIC Bill of Assurance - 2 massive mosques - 4,500 sq ft Islamic educational building

@akafaceUS That’s the new foreman

Blue collar interviews be like:

@Daamianski I always think of them as Minions

I love this video

@ICEthosecommies @MattH_4America If I'd never been to Montana I might have picked it. Beautiful place for sure, but if $300M is on the line I'm going to be on the beach.

@MattH_4America Poor suckers picking Montana. Give me a private island in the keys with a deep water channel for a 90' sport fishing boat.

If you won $300 million and could only pick one state to live in? You can buy a home anywhere in that state

@providence_wire MAGA cultists are really fucking stupid. Radical left are evil and really fucking stupid.

I’m not sure which is worse, the MAGA cultist or the radical left.

@Alex28977020182 @0hour1 Lol one will still write a book about how he was in the planning room as a consultant or something

@0hour1 And no book or movie will be made because its not the navy seals doing it.

American Delta and Special Forces have reached the down pilot and are destroying the IRGC like nothing you’ve seen before. According to people on the ground.

@0hour1 I'm sure "people on the ground" have time to send this kind of info out

@John_Lucas_I @ThinkInPeach It's not the dismemberment, it's the dominance sex that's going to open her eyes

@ThinkInPeach I think my girl's biggest fear and biggest turn on is that two guys are going to try that and she's going to have to watch me slowly dismember them in front of her while she begs me to stop. 🤷‍♂️

An old friend of mine once got mugged in front of his girl. Full black tracksuits. Ski masks. Told him to give them his wallet. My boy cowered, begged them not to hurt him. Handed over his wallet. They grabbed his girlfriend's bag, and gave him a parting gift of a whack to the face as they disappeared into the night. A month later, she left him. She never once mentioned the mugging.