Cpt. Caveman

Toy and Shoe Drive for Kids of Farmworkers gofund.me/f1e92a7e 🙏🏼

@Cudlitz 🤙🏽

Shout out to all the MF’rs doing colonoscopy prep tonight ……… 🚀🚀 🤨

@Igottafigh64510 I guess now we know why they nailed HIM to the cross.

When doing too much goes wrong😬😬😬😬

@RapidResponse47 Oh please, he falls asleep during meetings, that moron isn’t commanding anything

No, you’re just a sick freak, Aaron. He was commanding one of the most daring rescue operations in modern history — executed with the precise force and might only our Great American Military can deliver.

Let me fly you out to Virginia… the real state for BBQ

@UClaiminYouReal Congratulations 🍾

I did a thing today! I married my best friend. Forever 4/3 💎 #KUWTC

@SomaKazima2 Ellen Degenerous?

?????????

@DavidFischer Fucking scam! 🤣 how much money I lost.

Be honest: who is old enough to say they played this?

@Kaylan_TX_ How tf did she keep slipping out of the cuffs?

And this moment…

It was at this moment she realized she fucked up

@magg0tlovr And hiking.

i have to share this message i woke up to from an ex-coworker who’s 20 years older than me

@BookerGWash Wait, he called it in, he couldn’t be bothered to be there in person? 🤣

Someone follow-up with that Black barber from Atlanta who claimed he didn’t know Trump’s campaign would use his barbershop to stage a political event in 2024. He ran to the media after he lost his customer base, claiming the campaign didn’t pay in full. Where is he now?

@evadentz 2089

well no because it says expires 3/31/89

@SomaKazima2 😂

Bob Dylan about to show up to your door with PROOF

@MarkShark420 @gaylestc @BurgerKing @BurgerKingCAN No, it says 3/31/89, that could be in 2089.

@gaylestc @BurgerKing @BurgerKingCAN That literally expired in 1989. There’s literally an expiration date

Hey @BurgerKing do you think I can still claim this Whopper? @BurgerKingCAN

@Elle_Chantel The new one is funny.

Idk what’s going on with me mentally but I’ve been watching all the Anaconda movies and idk why lol

Apparently it's Good Friday. But come on, what Friday isn't good, amirite. 🚬

@mjfree His shorts now

My dog stole my shorts

Boo’d right out of The Kennedy Center

@jaredpolis @Rockies @laurenboebert Someone’s getting beetlejuiced. 💦

The @rockies and baseball bring people together! Go Rockies! W @laurenboebert

@bluebirdpoopies @eternaltxts @DUDEwipes 😉

@eternaltxts wash your underwear inside out. its not the outside that has skidmarks

I’m 21. Give me oddly specific life tips. No general ”surround yourself with positive people” tips. I want the most random, specific advice possible.

@anabelle_dawn 🎯

each of these "insufferable" strong female leads are played by women who are smart, talented, beautiful and absolutely delightful, but who also don't hesitate to speak their minds, which is what is truly "insufferable" to men who hate women.