Meh Curie

Men are stupid but I like their body weight on top of me

Turns out, go fuck yourself. 🖕🏻✌🏻

@FFmaxhyde Ooooh he’s a Travis? I never noticed before

Petition to fucking celeb name Taylor and Travis fucking TaTr

The moon is out here looking like a sexy bitch tonight

@DreamsSarcastic Might tell my giant my username and hope for the best

Finally got a caring handsome boyfriend, no words can fucking explain how much I'm lying rn

@ash_isawitch My bitch be wildin

I never trust my coochie. That bitch be lying.

@HauntedDolly Samsies

horny as a pornstar & twice as pretty.

@FirecrackerKatt Church

My ex-husband now has a receding hairline that matches his wife’s. Praise be to Jesus. Praise be.

@CrazyVibes_1 Forget about the baby….That mofo was double cheeked up on a Thursday

Heroic gorilla lifts child to safety

My biggest insult is equally telling someone I’ll catch them on the flip side or telling them congratulations on being americas next top model.

I’m at that Shia LaBeouf bourbon balance. Everything is Crystal. Fucking. Clear.

I’m at drink# take my socks off and not my panties

Nah I don't really fucking apologize for the way I am, it's fucking intentional.

Jesus fucking Christ. Why are grapes harder to swallow than dicks….

I’m drunk. Which way do I swipe? Left for ick and right for dick?

Raisins are satans goat turds

Wish I had a Popeyes biscuit choking me like a good third date right now

Love you, Howie

I have a zit on my throat I’ve been putting foundation on that’s finally clearing up from a dumb random iud period so no one expects me to stop and sing them Intergalactic Planetary.

There’s nothing for you over here.